I miss my dad. He died in september of this year. I didn’t speak to my family for almost a year after last year birthday and the fights. My dads last words were " I love you happy birthday babygirl"
I will never hear those words again from him. My partner said he isnt struggling to breathe any more or in pain.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling guilty. I’ve struggled with a lot of guilt in my life over various things and I can tell you it’s heavy and it’s best to put it down. I hope you feel better. Try to enjoy your Birthday.