Going to bed with no plans for the morning

In fact, my therapist asked me what I fell asleep thinking because I was waking up suicidal. And I found that I only fall asleep with the idea that I might not wake up in the morning. It’s like a wish. So no wonder, when I find myself awake and alive, I get suicidal. (It’s ideation, no actual attempts)

I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I used to feel like that. It lasted from 16 years old until 37. It was awful. But hang in there. It can get better

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For ideation. I’ve found that making sure my care team are aware has been a good step, just because then they act accordingly and remind me that I’ve been In that kind of situation before.

I also kind of wilfully try to convince myself to not think about it or not think at all, it’s like when you are trying to deal with voices. Sometimes it is possible to shut it out. or at least blank your mind.

Escaping through reading, music, maybe playing video games or other types of hobby type activities of interest to you on a personal level are maybe also good distractions.

It is rubbish not be able to go to sleep when you don’t know what or if you’ll wake up. I have something similar,

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