Schizophrenia.com

Found a funny article


#1

Doctors are schizophrenic according to the DSM-5:

See the proof!

The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria are so poorly written, vague and subjective that we all qualify for a variety of mental diagnoses, depending on the spin we use to describe our situation - or the spin in the mind of the one doing the diagnosis.

In fact, many doctors absolutely qualify.

Let’s take a look at the official DSM-5 criteria for schizophrenia.

There are five. You must have at least two of the five to qualify. At least one of the two must be among the first three. Symptoms must be experienced for at least a month before an official diagnosis can be secured. That’s they way this game show works.

This isn’t a problem, as many doctors qualify on any given day.

Here are the five stars of schizophrenia:
1. Delusions

According to the DSM-5, a delusion is a false belief based on an incorrect inference about external reality that is held firmly in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary…

For example:

The delusion that medication with disastrous side effects improves your health.

The delusion that patients can be well served in 10 minutes or less.

The delusion the doctor is under when he says. “It’s all in your head.”

Or the one that doctors are God.

2. Hallucinations

According to the DSM-5, a hallucination is a perception-like experience with the clarity and impact of a true perception…

A doctor’s primary hallucination is the patient. He thinks he is perceiving a patient with a set of symptoms. Then, he sees those symptoms in his mind and wants to attack them.

What is actually in front of him is a person - a whole person with a life of his or her own, complete with a personal history, wants and dreams, emotions and relationships. The doc misses this reality in favor of his hallucinated patient and set of symptoms.

3. Disorganized speech or incoherence

Ever heard a doc try to explain what is going on inside your body? You might blame your lack of understanding on a lack education in medical matters.The truth is, you are intelligent enough to understand your body. The doctor’s incoherence comes from inept communication skills.

4. Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior

I’d call cutting off the wrong leg disorganized behavior. Docs are notorious for doing this, as well as removing the wrong organs and treating the wrong person for the right disease.When teams of docs work together, the lack of organization and incoherence is compounded to life threatening levels.

5. Negative symptoms, such as diminished emotional expression

Diminished emotional expression? I don’t even need to explain this one.

A summarized line from the movie Patch Adams: We are going to train the humanity right out of you and turn you into something better. You are going to become doctors!


#2

That’s funny.
Sad but true.