I don’t feel like I’m an adult nor do I feel like my body should be one. I feel emotionally volatile like a toddler with hairtrigger upset. I don’t understand why I’m being pushed to try to live alone and function on my own when I can’t even contemplate driving and having the kind of routine required of an adult. It all feels overwhelming. It doesn’t fit me at all. I often wish I could go back to being a small child, not having to worry about much except for whether or not my colored pencils were sharp enough and if a stuffed animal is available.
I also, at the same time, feel like I could be among the best minds in the world if my body wasn’t holding me back. I feel like I would be so functional and amazing if I could just have my consciousness put in another body. I want the rewards of having done lots of amazing work over my lifetime. I want to achieve so much and feel so held back.
My thoughts and feelings and ideas and opinions are all scattered and flip flop regularly. I don’t have cohesive preferences. Nothing makes sense to me anymore, including my emotions.
I am very certain I won’t make it to 30. I just have a sense something will prevent it.
Maybe you don’t give yourself enough credit; maybe you’re capable of more than you think. I forget, how old are you? For what it’s worth, twenty years ago I could not imagine making it to thirty years old. I was so suicidal back then, but now here I am, 38 years old. These things can happen if you give them a chance to do so.
I’m going to be 24 in a little over a month. I feel capable intellectually but in terms of applying anything to the real world, I feel completely lost and like I’m just kind of stumbling along and hoping I’m not messing up too badly.
Honestly, that’s what a lot of us do, especially at that age. Some people do a good job of making it seem like they have it all together and know exactly what they’re doing in life. Most of us just fake it and make up plans as we go along.
Okay, I understand. Just try to go easy on yourself. You’re really not expected to have it all figured out and together at 23-24 years old. Please try to cut yourself some slack. ️
I hope you feel better. I’m not doing too good being independent myself. You’re still young. I hope that you will find a good career and have a good life. I want that for myself. I’m not too optimistic about it though.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s bloody hard making it on your own as a young adult. You will stuff up, you will make mistakes but that’s okay because we all do and have been there before. You won’t have everything figured out and sorted by 24 and that is completely normal. As for not feeling like you had enough time to grow up, don’t worry about how you should act or behave. Be who you want to be. If you still feel younger at heart then be that way and enjoy it. Doesn’t mean you can’t be responsible or mature when it matters. I often don’t act my age but that’s because I refuse to grow up faster than I want to. However in the right circumstances I am mature. You have plenty of time to be an older adult. Enjoy your youth while you can.
️