Do you ever feel like you talk less because you’re afraid of saying something dumb, or simply just because you have nothing to say? I notice family and relatives talk so much. I imagine their minds are so clear and filled with ideas that it just flows out of them. I’m envious of that. It’s not fair that I sit back and watch and WANT to engage, but the mind is so blank that I can’t say anything. Anyone feel this way?
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For me the goal is just to survive, nothing else.
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Relatives can seem like bullies in this regard. My first cousins have 30 years age on me and everyone’s competing for best child. My mom isn’t the type of parent to build up their kid. It’s the other way around with me, my mom will make fun of me a lot to relatives.
But my aunt is the type to hype her kids up and hope her younger sister doesn’t produce as good a kid. So sometimes she will seemingly bully me in this regard.
It’s not gonna make me care about it but it may motivate me to do other things.
I’m a firm believer in going out and proving the haters and bullies wrong.
They’re the wrong ones for being super talkative btw. Silence is an admirable trait. Being loud promotes ignorance imo.
I got a little obsessed with this. It’s a problem. I can’t do anything just a reasonable amount.
But anyway, there are books and such on the topic.
I figured out that I was happier being quiet and just having the few narrow interests I can talk about.
Otherwise it’s semi scripted. "How are you doing? That’s good / sounds rough (depending on response) watch any good shows on netflix lately? "
I do try to listen to other people but lately I find myself caught up in my own head and occasionally responding to things they didn’t say. 
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For me with age comes sociability. Funny you say reading books because I feel reading books can make you more talkative. But my relatives on a whole Nother plane, they talk about the weirdest stuff. I picture when I grow up, my non-immediate family will be different. And I will be setting the tone and my sister too. And then a child will come and complain that I’m too loud. Vicious cycle.
I don’t necessarily feel bullied. For me, it’s more of being envious that these healthy individuals are engaging in interesting and stimulating conversations while I just kind of sit on the sidelines. I feel the urge to contribute but then quickly realize I have nothing good to say. I guess the basis of this is that my mind is blank most of the time and I really struggle with it.
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I hate situations where everyone loves the sound of their own voice. If people don’t make an effort to include you in the conversation then they’re just being rude or ill mannered.
I’m going to a family gathering shortly. I try not to talk but then I get nervous and talk in an overly happy voice and say weird off topic things. Then on Saturday I have my nieces wedding. That’s even worse.
Some people have the gift of gab. I am not one. I try out common things to avoid akward siliences: weather, comment on the room, compliment someone else to get the attention off me and on someone else, lastest show/movie, etc.
Ppl talk more than me cuz they live a life that is more speakable about. It’s not that theyre smarter than me or better equiped socially.
God yes, especially noticeable when I’m around the guy I like. My brain goes even more blank than it usually is
This is caused by thinking too much about your illness and the weird way we have of observing things. As well as having constant fear and anxiety about something.
your mind isn’t going to be able to engage fully in conversation When we ruminate so much in wrong thoughts. There’s a point where you gotta quit thinking “I am the illness” and just let the ■■■■ go.
Normal people don’t focus on the negative things thst happen and think. They keep moving.
We’ve stopped moving and you gotta get your train rolling slow and steady on good things before you can fully engage in life to the fullest.
Yeah, This happens many times. When people are nervous or not in a mood to talk with others feels just to sit alone.