Feeling freed lately with my lack of ambition

i have taken the pressure off myself. sure i may work a part time job in the future, but now this past week, i am content with my life, and feeling free’d from the pressure to make something of my life. i’ve decided against studying horticulture, although i am interested in going to community college just for the fun of it. im not worried about a career, or my future, or my lack of romantic relationships or social life, life is what it is i guess. im in a much better head space than a couple weeks ago where the thought of escaping life and being in a long term hospital seemed better than struggling to support myself. will just enjoy this next decade, and see what happens to me.


also after reflecting on my life before meds, it’s clear that im not really able to handle the world and the life expectations. so to rush back to that, seems like a bad idea.

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Yes, life is too short. We should all take time off to smell the roses. If you have shelter and food, then just enjoy what you have. I think work makes one a slave to earning money. The more one earns, the more one wants, etc. So, it is good to know your limitations and to make the best of your situation. I like working but it is wearing me down. I sleep, eat, and work. I don’t even work that much but make enough to survive on my own. But, if I had the chance, I would not work and would do something interesting, such as traveling which one can’t do now or learning how to write- I’m working on doing this. I learned a new language and enjoyed learning it on my down time. I had nothing but time so became moderately fluent in it. So, take your time with life. Enjoy it while you can. Who says working, getting married, and putting your nose to the grindstone is the only way to succeed in life. It is not. Success is how you feel about yourself and how satisfied you are with yourself. In these terms, I am successful since I’m happy. But, by society’s standards, I am no great success. I’m just eking by. I know some people don’t think highly of me because of my lack of success although I have a medical degree and don’t work as a doctor. But, I don’t worry about it. I’m happy with myself and with my life now. I am doing well. Who cares what others expect? Live for yourself and be happy!!

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