Feel bad for my co-worker

And a little scared for myself. I worked with him since 2016, 5 years. He’s not schizophrenic, he has learning issues. The thing is, he always thought he was better than me, kind of looked down on me. It bugged me but almost every time I talked to him about anything like school or current events or politics I could tell he was in over his head. So I guess it evened out. I don’t bear him any ill will though.

He always used to mention he suffered from SAD. He always managed to talk to people at work though. I worked two years with him in the office before we both became janitors and he talked to other people. And when he came on our crew 5 years ago he would talk to the soldiers in our army reserve building. I often saw him in conversations with the soldiers and he seemed to talk to the other guys on our crew. Then things started to go downhill. He was in his forties but he lived with his parents up until about a year and a half ago. Then he told me was moving into his own apartment and I think that’s where he went wrong.

Before he moved in I tried to help him; I told him the #1 thing he wanted to avoid was isolating. I used my own experience and I told him about when I lived in my nice studio for six years that it was a lot easier to stay in my nice, warm studio than go out and how I had to force myself to go out. I told him to start off right in his new apartment and not to isolate. I also told him how fun it can be to have your own apartment and have your own space.

Then he started having problems with a neighbor. He switched apartments to get away from him. Time went by and he started missing work. I could tell he was going through a rough time just by looking at him. He started missing a lot of work. And about 8 months ago I asked him about his living situation and it turns out he was isolating. And I’m almost sure that’s why he’s doing so bad. He started missing weeks at a time at work. Then he would show up for a week or so and after a couple weeks he would be gone. Now he’s been gone four months. I hear the boss talking to him on the phone occasionally but I don’t know when he’s coming back. My personal opinion is that moving out was too big a step, that’s when things started falling apart.

It’s a little frightening to see someone go downhill like that though. I talk to the soldiers but he always seemed to get in deeper conversations with them then me. I thought he was doing fine for a long time. It’s too bad, he’s disabled but I know he’s worked a lot. And it must be a big blow for him to miss all this work. The company has been holding his job for him but I don’t know how much longer they can do that. I’ve known him all this time but he’s been gone 4 months and I’m kind of ambivalent about if he returns or not. If he came back it would not be a bad thing.

Do you have his address. Maybe this is a moment to send a card, give him some love.

I know I’m going to be in trouble when I move out. I don’t really know about socializing much I go to the gym and I talk to people online but I don’t drive so I’m kinda stuck with whats local, and whats local is a hour walk to a bowling alley and a 25min walk to bars and I don’t really want to drink at a bar because I don’t have the money.

I wish I knew of a way to help your friend, but I think your bosses are being angels by keeping his job and by trying to work with him for this long.

I really appreciated my job and the opportunity to make money and I tried hard, but I crashed and burned with schizophrenia and soon I couldn’t manage.

I’ll say a prayer for the guy but I don’t honestly know what would be appropriate for you to do in this situation. He might really not appreciate a card or any attention to him being gone.

He sounds like he needs behavioral health care/help. Do you know if he has medical insurance or find a behavioral health care clinic?

I guess first thing is finding him and understanding what is happening and what his problems are.

Hope he will be okay and get help.

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