I’m sorry…I forgot too ask you if you have any friends?
If you meant me I have two friends locally, and an old friend of my mom’s who lives in California. I like to think I have some friends on this forum.
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I’m sorry, I was asking gene that question.
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I recommend giving yourself more time focusing on your sobriety before making a big change. Independence is an awesome goal, and you have every right to pursue it, but you’re more likely to succeed by taking things slowly. Give yourself a year or two sober and then evaluate how you would handle your Independence. I know it sucks waiting, but taking it slow will get you there quicker than bouncing in and out of sobriety if its something you’re still struggling with.
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Exercise is definitely a good one to combat cravings. I’d likely spend most of my time alone unless I were to befriend a neighbor. Thanks for the input.
@Jake: a few
@Hemy: that is really good advice, thank you. I’d feel much more confident having at least a year of clean time before I made a big decision. Plus it’ll give me more incentive to be sober, more to work towards.
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I personally hated living alone, and highly preferred living with roommates. Living at home was never really an option for me. I tried for a few months, but my mom just stole all my money and then kicked me out the door. I think if I had a good, supportive relationship with my mom, I wouldn’t have minded staying longer. But living independently gave me a lot more freedom and I know Mr. Star would never have given me the time of day if I was living with my mom. My best friend from college lived with his mom until he was 27, and always complained to me that he could never get dates. I said it was because he lived at home. When he finally moved out, he met his wife 6 months later. There is something inherently attractive about having your own place, if that is a goal of yours.
How far away would you be moving? Could your parents still come visit a whole bunch?
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I wont take my meds if I lived alone. I lived alone for a year, quit my meds and went fully psychotic. My parents make sure that I take my meds everynight.
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I’ve gone on one date in the past five years. Having my own home base would change things drastically. Definitely a confidence boost!
Not far. I have a good relationship with them, I help them as much as they me. Parents could visit whenever, just no pop-ins!
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For about ten years I rented an upper apartment in a house from family friends who belonged to my church. It was close enough to my dad yet far enough to give me some solitude as well as a place to make out/have sex with my girlfriends. The rent was reasonable but the heating cost a lot so I needed utility assistance. I worked for awhile but eventually ended up back on disability and would chauffeur my family around and get them groceries, take to hospital etc.
Rent is such a money pit and there are times when being alone is just awful, but I did an okay job of keeping the place clean and uncluttered and making sure I kept up on paying bills on time,managing my checkbook, shopping and cooking, cleaning. When its all up to you, you have to come up with systems to keep everything straight… Like I used to use PC software to balance my bank accounts and I kind of learned to do filing.
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State Tested Nursing Assistant
My family bought my sister and I condos she still lives there and I moved out and we sold mine. I lived there about 8 months and did damage to the wall and a door besides what my cat did. I lived alone in a two bedroom and was either drinking alot or going stark crazy. I didn’t see my family much during this time. I can’t believe how much my family has paid for me. I might as well of got my PHD like my brother did but I never did college. They’ve paid for theuraputic communities which cost an arm and a leg and didn’t really help. The only thing that helped I hate to say is my recent year long stay in the state hospital. It was miserable even though I had a job I enjoyed working with plants. Just getting back on the medication and the time staying stable has had me recover very nicely.
My first apartment was when I was 20 if you don’t count dissociative episodes where I rented a house with a few girls. I moved north to a nice city with a female friend of mine. We ended up hanging out with high school kids and drinking alot. I remember watching a ton of Monty Python sketch comedy at night. I applied for a job in a factory but freaked out when they asked me to take a drug test when I could have just told them that I’d smoked recently at a party but wasn’t into it or anything. This was before my diagnosis of Sza. Then it was communal living at this therapeutic community farm. I went out with three women then after a long time of being single. Worked in the community garden, worked with pigs and cows and learned to weld which was awesome. I was sober for most of this. Then it was an inpatient/outpatient program for people with mental health disorders and addiction. I played drums in a band for a while. We used to jam at the music shack with other musicians at the therapeutic farm too. I got into smoking spice and even crack cocaine because I was around people who had these drug addictions. I didn’t really have an addiction to street drugs I was just using adderall wrong and drinking alcohol. They had these people called mentors who would drive you around to go shopping, take you to AA meetings or just to hang out somewhere. It was okay I guess but it was depressing as I stayed single again for a long time as it was an all male program and I didn’t really go out of my way to meet people outside the program. I should have joined a dating site then I wish I had. I had two apartments during this time. My first place got bedbugs and there was a murder/shooting outside the apartment so I moved to a nicer neighborhood. I joined clubhouse international during this time and got elected to go as a representative to the international conference in St. Louis. I got really into this clubhouse thing for people with mental illness it’s like a drop in center. I had a six month seat on the board of directers it was awesome. My mother got into it and ended up founding a clubhouse in my hometown that’s still going, it’s still really small. I used to go there. I liked sitting outside and smoking cigarettes with the members and staff. I lost my motivation for the work of the clubhouse though. I was living on my own in my condo at this point. I would just go for the socialization. I wish I hadn’t had my family sell the place. It was a two bedroom in an apartment complex. Most of it was rentals but there were 24 owned units one of which was mine. I’d be on my own rather than living with family if I hadn’t done this.
Long post sorry.
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