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Yeah, everybody. Recently, I was watching a jail program called 60 Days In where they put decoys in jail who were regular people from different walks of life who had committed no crime but volunteered to go undercover and pose as an inmate into one of the countries worst jails and report what went on between the real inmates. I remember a couple of them said that in jail, it is either âcontrol someone or be controlled.â Thatâs what a lot of different life situations boils down to.
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They are all over the place.
Yes I have.
A while ago I met this guy who spread nasty rumors about me and made my friends not trust or like me. Ever since Iâve been lonely, but am slowly gaining friends with others, including on this site. He was quite a manipulator. He could gain people on his side because of his charm.
People who are like this are considered psychopaths.
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Yes but Iâm not easily manipulated lol Iâm too smart for that. Not that people who get manipulated arenât smart. Some people just have huge hearts. I have huge brain.
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This can be a curse in itself sometimes
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Iâve seen it dude! I feel so sorry for them. Idk I have a strong sense of justice so I canât stand it when things arenât fair but. Some people just donât have the fire in them to say no. The upside to that personality I think is theyre very dependable. Sometimes to excess I guess.
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Iâm getting better at drawing the line, but itâs hard to tell where that line is sometimes. Iâve always been told Iâm very compassionate and empathetic, which I think is true. Of that I am proud in a way.
But people can sense that from me, and expect me to play their therapist all the time. It becomes exhausting, and is a thankless job, believe me
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Oh I see I didny know you were referring to yourself. Idk ⌠I can see being self sacrificial sometimes. I think thatâs a good thing. Just sucks when people try to milk you. Makes ya feel like a dumb ox lol
I have had people at a bus stop telling me their entire life story in 15 minutes flat, and then never see them again. I should have been a therapist, Iâd be rich! LOL I donât mind listening, itâs a craft in itself, itâs just knowing where to draw the line
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Lol true I am pretty quiet in conversation tho. Itâs usually like 90% the other person talking 10% me whenever I talk irl lol
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I am very talkative. Translates into my writing as well. So⌠sorry for all the extraneous details, yâall. I talk like this irl for the most part.
Other drug addicts were manipulative.
I fell into the trap on many occasions
Fear even at one point I was doing it, but when I got clean all that stuff went out of my life for the most part
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Iâve never really lived my life because of manipulative people and they seem to get worse all the time.
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The problem stems from childhood as I understand it.
Itâs a belief that we can not get a need met directly.
I wanted to talk about this issue eventually. But my mind is focused elsewhere atm.
But shame is a huge factor for why people learn this.
Itâs like when youâre taught that something you feel or something is âwrongâ in childhood and youâre âpunishedâ for it?
Like what that âsupernannyâ does? Thatâs what causes more issues in adulthood.
Itâs a parenting style that I foresee will change a lot more in the future once people become more aware of this.
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I guess I must be the victim then idk.
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That Rings very true, good insight
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Itâs something I consider more seriously now since learning it.
As I have seen it and understood it now? Most of the world is manipulative.
But understanding how a need can be met and what needs you have is important. Especially emotional needs though.
With that, I go into thinking, âWhy do I want to do this?â and âWhat am I trying to get/feel?â.
For me personally, itâs making me consider doing something which before I would have thought was some kind of âmistakeâ or something thatâs too beneath me. Otherwise, itâs just caring too much about what society thinks is âgoodâ or ârightâ.
A lot of what our society teaches is good is right has nothing to do with meeting your own needs. Itâs about âappearanceâ. If you donât care about that? Youâll more likely end up happier and with what you want than trying to fit into something that isnât really working/creating pain.
Again, that can go back to childhood where we can subconsciously learn to suppress emotional needs or who we are to conform to the parent(s).
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Yes Iâm sure youâre right. When I was in therapy, it was difficult to determine what I even needed. It sounds like youâve given this a lot of thought
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