Doesn’t it feel nice to help other people and be nice to strangers. I feel so much better that way then not caring. I just don’t get why people try to use each other all the time. We should help our fellow humans out more.
I actually remember the first time I ever actually helped someone. It must have been third grade and I’m in line at an ice cream…table…and the kid next to me couldn’t reach the spoon but he’s trying for all he’s worth. So I’m looking at the kid and then I finally push the thing closer to him so he can reach, he looks at me and says thank you and you know what? The reason I remember it is how that made me feel, pretty good.
I’ve practiced random acts of kindness between being an oblivious jerk ever since. Really though, these days, the jerk is gone and I’m all heart.
Most of the time I hate other people though I try to cover and be civil. It’s the nature of my schizophrenia.
My job is helping young people, so that’s covered. When there is someone who really needs help and I can help, yes that’s a great feeling. It’s way better than the disgust I feel toward humans much of the time.
I was out with my two sisters last night in San Francisco. The area we were walking in had many homeless people and indigents asking for money as we walked through. I gave two dollars to one poor guy but I had to turn down four others.
It’s kind of hard though when you’re worried that most people will try to take advantage or “use” you in process. I can be nice when I am approached for a favor, like the other day when a random guy walking down the street, who looked like he might be homeless, asked me if he could have a cigarette. I’ve been there, I know how it is, I said sure and have him two, one for later. But honestly if I just saw him, I’d be too nervous to talk to him or anything. I’ve also found that for whatever (probably subconscious) reason, when I do try to help people, it’s often people who can’t receive my help. Like I saw an older woman trying to carry a bunch of grocery bags down a busy street, presumably on her way home. I asked her if I could help her carry them, and she assumed I was a threat and started yelling at me in gibberish wanting me to get away (which I did). Another time it was a homeless guy on a very hot day, so I bought an extra gatorade while in the store, pretended like I accidentally bought the wrong flavor (trying to protect his dignity) and asked if he would have it so it didn’t go to waste. He accepted it, but when I came back that way 20 mins later, he had abandoned it on the curb and walked away without it.
I enjoy helping people, much more so on my schedule than theirs though.