My voices like to make me angry. But not all of them.
1 Like
It’s in the past, but yes. Most voices would try hard to make me angry. I will never understand how and why.
1 Like
I’m listening to my voices right now. They’ve been talking all night. I could care less about them. I can’t tell what they’re saying so who cares?
I loved my voices when I was a child. I loved him with all my heart, soul and strength. He became bad when I unnaturally repressed my lust. He separated from me. He is a highly developed alter ego. My imaginary lover. Now I don’t think I’d care if he went to hell. He tormented me for three decades. I forgave him a zillion times but no more.
I get noise sensitivity that comes with the voices. My other senses are jacked up too. I get irate because it’s too much sometimes.
My schizophrenia is a bit different
I don’t hear voices but I can have delusions.
The first time I did was over 30 years ago and they left since then, I think it was I questioned what they were talking about for I couldn’t quite understand their meaning
I don’t have voices, I have functional hallucinations when I listen to music. The hallucinations are very contained and can’t just go off saying whatever they want, they need to leverage the context of the song because I can’t hallucinate more than a couple words per sentence in a song and the words get easier to change if the change is phonetically similar or the word falls under the same scope(like tall can become short or goal but it will be much harder for me to hallucinate the word need there, not impossible but very very sporadic). If that weren’t enough although I can’t do it now because the hallucinations have lost their sense of presence, which is probably a good thing, I used to be able to try to direct my hallucinations when I could still feel them coming. They would learn and adapt to my directions, if I often asked for similar changes they would become more frequent, for example to this day the word God is probably what gets hallucinated at random the most whenever I listen to music and I almost never hear the word gone at this point due to how easy it is to convert. When the changes are erratic like this they often don’t mean anything, or the meaning is simply look at this change, what do you think? Is it cool? This unless the hallucinations carry some sort of emotion informing me of a way to look at the change from a certain perspective in order to ascribe them their meaning. There are however times where the meanings are obvious and what I can gather is that the voices are simply a more autistic version of me. They will change white lies into truths whenever they can and will simply turn anything poetic in a song into an alternate version that somehow rings truer. What’ll happen quite often is that the voices will add or remove a negation in order to make a sentence true from my perspective or that of the singer in a very factual manner, stuff like “I don’t want to go out cause I see you in every crowd” will become “I do want to go out cause I see you in every crowd” if I’m feeling longing for a lost one or “I do want to go out but I see you in every crowd” if it’s just trying to underline that the new sentence is actually closer to defining what the character in the situation would experience. Lastly there are the hallucinations meant to overstimulate me, stuff like “and I know these scars will bleed” will become “and I know these gods they’ll bleed”. Then the changes sort of stick around, often repeating in the future in different contexts or even the same but they won’t always carry meaning even though the meaning is there, they’ll just simply be perceived as me mishearing the same thing for the nth time, no longer impressed or moved in the slightest.
This topic was automatically closed 95 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.