Continuing the discussion from New Clinics in California Seek to Stop Schizophrenia Before it Starts:
it’s difficult for me as i was so young when i was raped the first 3 times and within months of each other. after that i was paranoid about being attacked anyway. but the smoking dope from 18 onwards fueled it immensely. when i was 24/5 i remember laying in bed thinking should i lock the door, because if they came in the window, it would take me longer to get out the door. it was awful. as it happens i got raped again anyway and that’s what caused all this. i sometimes wonder what life would b like if none of it had ever happened. what would i have been like. i was an extrovert b4, a show off, a performer. whether i would ever have succeeded and to what degree, i’ll never know but i sure as hell wouldn’t b living this life. sometimes i think that if there is a god, he has forsaken me and my children. there is only so much abuse children can stand and it’s all down to men. sometimes i hate men, but not all men. just abusers in general. as far as the onset goes it as a gradual paranoia tightening like a vice and then i just sort of exploded into psychosis. why me i ask myself. i never get a satisfactory answer.
i’m sorry @jaynebeal idk why these things happen,
truth is bad things happen to good people, i know its wrong but thats just life,
the person that did these things will be judged for it at the end of the day and he will have to suffer for an eternity for it, so whatever he did to you he will have to suffer forever for it.
hope this helps
I do remember some of the prodromal stages… I remember when every light in the house was too bright and every noise was too loud. I also remember some of the things I did and in hind sight wondered why I did them.
I remember feeling so cold an unemotional at some point that I would take the XTC to feel empathy. When I felt depressed and uninspired I would take uppers or amphetamines. When the thoughts in my head came to fast… I would drink to slow everything down.
I sadly do remember some of that time. I’m fighting the guilt from what I did back then.
My prodromal period started in my teens. I became very, very anxious about everything. I was taking college level courses in highschool and they were very stressful. I became so fixated on getting good grades that I stopped sleeping.
This followed me into actual college and started affecting my moods. I became very depressed when I wasn’t distracted by coursework.
And then it got worse once I graduated and started working. I was working in a private psych hospital and I became very paranoid that all the other nurses were conspiring against me to get me fired. This affected my sleep and mood even worse.
This went on for about 5 years, until one day I just cracked from the constant paranoia and insomnia. Thankfully, a nurse friend of mine got me into the hospital ASAP and I started meds.
The initial prodrome should have been obvious to others that something serious was wrong. But somehow, I slipped through the cracks and went unnoticed. I didn’t have any family nearby to help me. And I didn’t have the insight to help myself.
I often wonder what life would be like today if someone had caught my symptoms earlier. Maybe I would be functioning higher right now and still working. Who knows?
i’m sorry that happened to you.
I was sick for years before I got diagnosed with sz at 18. I suffered panic attacks since I was 13, and occasional voices.
I started to feel symptoms when I was 16, A junior in high school. I was depressed. My grades were all dropping, I isolated. I was paranoid and had this delusion. I didn’t receive treatment until 21 years later. That’s when I was diagnosed with Sz.
21 years is a long time
how did you cope in that time if you don’t mind me asking?
I had a difficult time during those years. Every choice I made was a bad one. I didn’t have a grip on reality. I self-medicated my senior year of high school which made matters worse. I managed to graduate high school. I wouldn’t want to go back to those times ever.
well i am glad things are a bit better for you now (i hope) x
Prodromal for me was about 2 yrs prior to developing full blown psychotic, paranoid schizophrenia.
The prodromal phase was a not a problem really, I was just going through a psychosis, deluded but my beliefs were rather pleasant, I believed I was an angel on a mission from God, my mental state was a bit sleepy, but totally conscious,
The truth is that experience for me was rather pleasant, but then 2 yrs later at 26 I developed full blown sz. That was like a bad dream and a nightmare at some stages with the devil getting at me.
But faith gets you better…it only takes patience and time.