wow, i wish they had caught my schizophrenia early like that, my earliest recollection of me doing something strange was when i was 15 and i went shopping for school clothes with my mum and i was just not thinking straight, i bought a big pair of steel toe boots and a massive bag (the boots were to big for me in the first place and they were heavy like wearing bricks on my feet, the bag was horrible and i hated carrying it with my big bag, i remember i never actually got any clothes that day and for that matter for the new school year and i ended up having to wear old clothes as usual, i started to withdraw from friends and getting into trouble, shoplifting and bunking off from school,
i remember i was bunking off and shoplifting on mothers day with a friend and we stole some rather expensive mothers day cards and we were almost at the train station when i saw a security guard who knew we were shoplifters at this point most people would run away but i didn’t i walked over and handed myself in, he looked in the bag and took us to the control centre where the police came and showed us on camera up to no good, i didn’t really care at this point what was going to happen so we were taken back to the school and nothing happened, the school never told my mother for some reason and we were not suspended or even given lines,
if i was to pin point a time in my life where things were changing radically it would be then
even tho i had what could be called prodromal stages of something i am not sure it was schiz but it led to a bitter road of depression and not talking to people etc, i believe i did not have a predisposition to mental illness i believe mental illness broke down the barriers of my mind over a prolonged period of time. other factors could be that i never spent enough time with my dad growing up or never had enough money or good dinners etc,
lots of factors to think about, lots of things to ponder and most of it forgotten or buried deep in my psyches unconscious waste basket never to be seen again.