I realize I have trouble accepting myself sometimes..mostly my messed up thoughts and my past. Honestly I’ve made progress from full self loathing to a small amount of self compassion. Im wondering if im alone.
Real talk..on a scale of 1-10 how much do you love yourself?
Let’s see, I bathe myself, I dress myself, I feed myself, I medicate myself, I look both ways before I cross streets, I obey traffic laws, I tend to only eat and do things that I enjoy, and I just generally always look out for my own good. This is all good evidence that I love myself very much. I sure treat myself well.
I’ve been becoming more compassionate and loving toward myself. When I stand outside myself, I see a good person with great strength of character who applies herself. I definitely deserve love and compassion toward myself. I’m also amazed at the things I’ve accomplished in life.
I had a couple of therapists help me with that. It took me until I was 48 years old to get there. People will say that I’m hard on myself, but I frequently found people were very hard on me and I internalized it. I’m glad that’s over, lol. Phew!
There are all kinds of days… I don’t know if there’s a person whose opinion of themselves is carved in stone. At least for me, my attitude toward myself changes — and it’s unfortunate that even the smallest external detail can flip it to the opposite. Sometimes I like myself, and sometimes I don’t want to be myself and even punish myself with rather silly actions… (I don’t harm myself, but I isolate or sometimes “unintentionally” skip meals ) — a kind of minimal depressive behavior. But then I remind myself, if not me, who will take care of me? I have to force myself to love myself.
I am supposed to accept/love who I am before God. I know who I am and I know my place. But some of my choices that got me here? I cant say I like or accept them… even if they were an essential part of my journey. Wish I could go back, really.