Schizophrenia.com

Do you have to give up things you enjoy when you get a partner?

#1

I noticed some of the things I like to do like watching Stargate SG-1 might not be the best thing to do with a girlfriend. Have I been too long in the rabbit hole of single man hobbies? I would like to do couple stuff with a girlfriend although I do not think that is in the cards at the moment. But would having a girlfriend mean a lot less freedom?

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#2

I think it depends om what sort of girlfriend you find.
There might be some with similar interests, where you wouldn’t have to give up much.

But every relationship comes with compromise. The wise thing to do, in my opinion, is to make sure the both of you still have some alone-time to do the things you enjoy uninterrupted.
It’s not healthy to be together 24/7 anyways, or it might turn into co-dependency, which is very unhealthy.

It also depends on how you view freedom. Sure, you might not be able to do the desired things as often, but you will be able to do other things together which may be just as rewarding.

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#3

I am guessing asking for a girlfriend that is in to classic sci fi is asking for a bit too much.

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#4

The first week we were together as a maried couple (we lived apart before marriage) I was playing first person shooters on my computer and saw the look on the wife’s face while she watched me. Thought, “well there goes that.” I mostly play games when she’s not around or busy with something.

Oh, and she HATES Star Trek. Emphasis on HATES. I mock her watching Murder She Wrote and Midsomer Murders, so we’re even.

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#5

I stay single cause I’m bad at relationships, reason being I don’t change and it drives them nuts LOL :smiley:

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#6

He’s into Doctor Who and Star Trek and I’m into Frasier and coloring books. We have similar interests though. So there are some things we do together and some things we do separately. You’ve never going to find someone who is going to have all the same interests. I think that would be boring but I think it would be difficult to have someone with too many differences.

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#7

“Do i have to give up things when you get a partner”?

Sorry - No bloody chance - i dont care if they look like pamala anderson. No-one orders me about - especially in my flat - or
they are out the door. I have a right hand if im lonely.

Companionship is a wonderful thing tho - so long as its 50 / 50.

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#8

I think it will be mostly just finding time for it, I am not like a super geek that will have to stop doing my weird hobbies.

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#9

You might get relationship lonely though right? someone to talk to and share your life with. I am not that fussed about making compromises.

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#10

Yes your quite right - i do get relationship lonely - and end up risking a beating by dabbling with married women :frowning:

But ive been emotionally bullied by woman in the past and my flat is my man-cave so no one dare order me about in there now.

Most women ive met dont have much moral fibre - they are after your cash - somewhere to crash. Or know you will be a gentleman and will look after them - usually raiding my drinks cabinet. Im “Used” to being used. So ive become, sadly, Cynical.

A Proper Loving Relationship - would be great. But in reality they are hard to come by…

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#11

I never felt I gave up anything and I’ve been married 15 years. My wife doesn’t either
Wife: if anything it enhanced the things I could do because there’s someone to do them with

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#12

My husband and I both enjoy gaming, comics, cartoons, and other geeky stuff. I got into watching wrestling in the early 00’s with him. We tried doing things each other enjoyed so we could spend time together. But we also have things the other doesn’t enjoy. It’s fine to follow your hobbies alone.

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#13

I didn’t give up anything when I got married but I started compromising my time to accommodate my husband and his interests. He still lets me read and paint and listen to music if I want, but wants me to spend time with him too.

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#14

You don’t/shouldn’t have to give them up, but how often you get to perform them may be another question. The coolest thing is when you absorb each other’s hobbies and find that you enjoy what the other does, and you just didn’t know it. I think it’s an unspoken understanding that no two people are going to have the exact same interests. It is important that you respect the other person’s interests, no matter how off-putting or obnoxious you may personally find them.

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#15

Murder She Wrote is definitely obnoxious and off-putting.

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#16

It’s good to have both shared and separate hobbies. You never know what a girl might like. My mom used to watch Stargate sg 1 when I was a kid, I don’t think my dad watched it.

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#17

I never gave anything up with my last girlfriend. I did my things. She did hers.

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closed #18

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