I let it slip to my closest new friend that I “spent” some time in the city where the biggest state hospital in the state is. Not much else is in that city. So far she just knows I have bad anxiety.
I’m on the fence about sharing my sz story with my friends. it’s all I’ve known in my past.
But I got inspired by a thread on here to start fully living my life. I want to just take meds and forget about everything sz as much as I can.
Do I tell my new friends about some of my sz past? It’s hard because when they ask questions I either have to make some lie up on the spot about my past or I could tell the truth and risk alienation. Any opinions?[poll type=multiple results=always min=1 max=2 public=true chartType=bar]
Do you lie about your past then to your friends when you are getting to know people? I don’t want to get caught up in a lie. I’m also so sick of lying and not being myself. I don’t know. Stigma sucks. But maybe it’s best to keep quiet.
I feel like people are trying to get to know me and I just stay quiet because all my life has been about is: hospitalizations in and out, tons of different med trials and errors, dr visits, therapy appointments, case management, group therapy…
It’s only been this last few years that I’ve enjoyed more of a sense of stability for the first time in my adult life. I’m just kind of baffled at what to talk about @FreeLunch
I’ve told a couple of my old friends from growing up about my sz. I mean, it helped explain why I just seemingly ghosted everyone and fell off the face of the earth. I haven’t gone into detail about my sz, though, just told them what my diagnosis is.
Thanks so much @Tulane ! I appreciate your Sharing your story. I think I might be able to do that too. If I just said I have sz but I am on meds and do well now I think that’s best (like if it comes up in conversation at some point where I’d need to say it). It’s best not to delve into too much detail. I’ve dug myself into bad holes that way too much in the past.
I think it’s okay to tell your friends about it. Sounds like a good plan you have there. If they want to ask questions about it, that’s okay too. We can help educate people about this illness, causing a little less stigma out there about sz
You may have to find some hobbies or volunteer… fill your time with something relatable that you can share
Lol watch tik tok and rant about communism that’s what I do
Well now that there’s a debate, I like everything that Tulane is saying. But is it totally realistic? My experience is that people are pretty selfish about dealing with other people’s weakness. So if you do bring it up, it needs to be in a very positive, constructive sense.
You’re so right @Tulane I should also adopt that view to create education and less stigma. I feel so much better about this. You both are awesome thank you!
@FreeLunch I hope it is going to be ok. My new friends seem like they genuinely care and like me. My one friend knows I have bad anxiety but not sz. I think they are genuinely good people. I think I can trust them.
And thanks for the idea about a hobby and volunteering. I do have my crafts as hobbies. But I might need more. I will look into a volunteer gig just maybe like 2 hours a week even. I don’t know if I could handle much more. But it would keep me busy. I could do the local library or the dog shelter.
oh of course, describing the lowest of lows you’ve had with sz might not be the best route. But just saying something positive in your life about it, like you’re doing well or working or taking medication can help take the edge off, I think. Plus they’re your friends! If they don’t wanna associate with you because of a mental illness, they were never a good friend to begin with, methinks
I do like FreeLunch’s idea of hobbies or volunteering. My hobby turned into a job, so it doesn’t really feel like “work”, which is nice. Plus I get to meet new people!
I voted no, because I recently told my recovery group I’ve been attending since mid December about my sza.
I deeply regret it, and I can’t take it back now. Two weeks ago I skipped group because I was having a hard time and I didn’t want to face everyone. I just couldn’t do it.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m just saying be careful because once you tell, it’s out and will have consequences one way or the other.
I support telling if you feel you need to. But be prepared for what to say and how to handle it. And use as little detail as possible. I wish I had but it’s too late now.
I think there are degrees to that, though. For example, I disclosed my illness to my bosses and they have made accommodations for me. And I don’t have to “mask” too much at work.
With friends, it might just depend how close you are with them. Did you meet 6 months ago, or 16 years ago?
