Gosh, i have problems in my life now. So many things to do and i cant see people. My paranoia and anxiety to the roof. I had a crisis tonight only cause i need to see people those days, cause my wash machine broked. I was in pain even physically, i thought i would die. Sometimes i even think that its those heavy aps, who fragilize me even more, idk… i think its possible, yes 
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But do i need more time? Ill continue living, so struggling too, but i need to be relieved sometimes. Plus, people, i am dumb in my head,which worsens the paranoia.
Tell me that meds can end up by working pls!!! You would be scared if you could see me at my worst. Its scary really. I had to take a klonopin today.
I need to feel thoughts in my head, instead of this panic and paranoia. But maybe my procrastination worsen all this, no?
You know what? My best friend,who is ill too, said to me, that she would have killed herself if she had my years of isolation. Yeah… she cant understand that my strange sensations are not to be around people outside. I dont get much better around people. Even she cant understand… so strong words about my situation. I am tired to fight about positivity. We are very alone with my mom and even my docs are lost with me. All of them. I feel my illness mostly in my head. I wish i had thoughts there, not paranoia. My only hope is that with the time and with small efforts, ill be able to do more. But i cant be sure. For some five hours in the evening, i just ruminate here… my doc says it can take me years for the meds to work. She really said this.
I only have a vague paranoia, and I’m sorry to say but it isn’t going anywhere. People know intimate things about me and they don’t give feedback, or follow up. I didn’t protect my mind perhaps. The paranoia involves thinking my old friends are actually bonding with each other over my misfortune. I have to practice thinking logically and understand that we all scattered and nobody stayed glued together.
But your paranoia sounds even more debilitating, so maybe because of that, the meds will make an impact… anyway your no alone with paranoia.
I’m with you. I have debilitating paranoia and resulting panic. I’ve tried four different antipsychotics but none have relieved the paranoia, just the hallucinations. I understand how disabling it is. I don’t even leave my house other than two to three hours a week, and I’m still a prisoner.
I see my pdoc on Wednesday and plan to ask her about Propranolol, or Vistaril, to address my feelings of panic and anxiety. If I can at least get some relief with those, maybe my paranoia will be easier to manage? I have a prescription for Klonopin and I don’t take more than four doses per week, but it’s still starting to lose effectiveness. Scares me what I’ll do if I lose my rescue med.
Thank you for the message dollar. Maybe the isolation made all this worse. You think that the meds can end up by working? I didnt get this,sorry…
Shmookitty, yeap, i see. How bad is yours? How it manifests? Me, i am scared that i scare my neighbours too. I am worse when my mom shouts to me… i feel paranoid when angry too. And i need to hide in my bed then. I cant even stand well on my feet,yeah. Its to this point… i know from the docs that only aps relieve this. But mine ended yp saying to pay more efforts. I miss my normal thinking. Instead of it, i feel my brain in my head.
Kisses shmookitty, write me if you want here. I am very alone with my illness. My mother looks crazy by my sht now.
Your paranoia sounds so acute, and for some reason that makes me think the meds could succeed in relieving it… but I can’t say for sure.
i hide in my bed about 18 hours a day. Every day.
I have paranoid thoughts about someone busting into my house to murder me and my cats. On my really bad days, I get flares of panic every time someone slams a car door outside. I am hyper aware of every little sound that comes from outside the house.
That is just one example but probably my most severe. One time, my neighbor ran his garbage disposal (I live in a townhouse so there’s shared walls) and I went flying upstairs, convinced a helicopter had landed on the roof to kidnap my cat through the upstairs window. Luckily my husband was home at that time. He talked me down or I would have had a total meltdown.
Ok, i see. And meds help you or not? Maybe we need time on them, no? 
my problem i think, is that i was ill for too long. Two decades probably and i live almost alone so i lost the habit to be around people. I am almost sure, that ill say smth bad to the othrrs and ill piss them off, or ill be just hurted in my feelings, cause inadapted socially. I dont see a man on my side at all now. I am too passive for this 
. Glad you have somebody, shmookitty.
I take 30 mg of Haldol and it helps with the hallucinations but not with paranoia. Neither did Zyprexa, Geodon, or Abilify. I’ve been sick like this for 30 years.
I hope my pdoc will have a good suggestion when I ask her about what else we can try to target anxiety. I tried Buspar but it did nothing. SSRIs just aggravate it, I only take 10 mg of Lexapro for my depression. I was on Effexor for a couple of years and didn’t realize it was aggravating my anxiety until I changed pdocs to my current one and she got me off the Effexor.
My pdoc says there is no drug to target paranoia. She has me on disability from work and says that until they make a drug that targets it, I am unable to work. Heck, i am unable to BE.
I am not able to work either… but no man wouldnt want me like this too. I cant even sit on a coffee outside. I am like you with the ads, they increase my fears. I know you have strenghts that i dont have.
My mother says that with my isolation ill never have a family of my own or friends… me, i fight alone. My only hope is to maybe become more active so the fears will diminish with this maybe. But i have cognitive issues too, i even learn how to talk now. Never talked much tbh.
You are strong shmookitty, i am sure.
I’ve experienced a lot of isolation too. I’ve found out that I do need at least a little human company, but I’ll never be a social butterfly. The times I have been worst were right after a prolonged period of isolation.
if it doesn’t work within a month’s time you should try another AP. ask and work with your pdoc about might be better for you…you don’t have to suffer…just keep trying getting the right meds…
Benzos helped my paranoia. APs never did. Specifically Xanax. And I take the lowest dose you can take and only take one a day. Does wonders.
@jukebox, I tried all the possible aps here for 6 years. Ive tried around 11 aps. No one didn’t work on my paranoia. My doc say now to stop switching and wait. Ive heard from her, that in some cases, it takes a loot more than a month to see an improvement. I am ill since too long, maybe that’s the reason the meds don’t work so fast. I cant always switch meds. Even my doc said that I took too many, which made me numb. I still have the slight hope, that this Zyprexa will help me one day. I have anxiety too though.
Believe me it can take a long time but it takes more than six months definitely hang in there and keep the faith it can be a gradual improvement and out of the blue you can feel that you notice you are feeling better
You are always very supportive, shellys! Thank you. Now, I know itll be a long life battle, but at least to see some improvement yeap. Yes, my case is hard, cause since too long. Probably since kid. Add the cognitive and thinking issues, and the paranoia is just a thing which can destroy us. But me too, I believe that the meds can take much more time sometimes. I am just not from the lucky ones. The isolation is a factor too in my case.
Whats up shellys? Hows the life?
Life is good I have improved a lot but it’s taken a long time
You have time on your side just think of all your goals and you’ll get there
Sorry to hear they didn’t work yet against the paranoia… 
It’s possible that they will start to work later, hang in there! Also, did you try other things? Perhaps psychotherapy? EMDR if you have trauma? Exposure like they do with phobias…overcoming your fears by seeking the confrontation with them? Dietary changes? Or neurofeedback? The latter solved my psychotic and paranoid symptoms in just a few sessions (2-3x)… I stopped it because it had the same side effects as meds (numbness). But it DID most definitely work against the positive symptoms & paranoia for me for the time that I used it.
It’s really possible to overcome paranoia. I was extremely paranoid, didn’t trust anyone, not even my own parents, but 90% of the time I now have just a bit of shyness/insecurity left, and a fleeting weird thought here or there. It’s definitely possible for you too!
Gosh, i ignore if i have anxiety too. But let me explain you how i feel outside. It feels like impatience. almost desire to run away from my duties outside. When the stress is too high for me, i feel my brain in my head. My energy also goes in my feet, so even my motricity gets bad.
I wouldn’t complain, but i have one very important job to do the next week and i need support. I have to go to the community center with my renter and i wonder if i wont run away from there. Ill have to take a klonopin i guess, but even with it, i am not sure ill do it. Does the klonopin helps your paranoia?
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