Do I have spyware on my devices?

Be warned! This is going to take a while…
I appreciate if you read all and invite any advice or thoughts you may have.

My devices, a Motorola android phone and a Samsung Windows laptop, have recently begun to act strangely and there performance has dropped significantly and quickly. They get hot easily, loose battery faster, take longer to charge, lag and load pages and apps slowly, and there has been some odd instances of complete freezes with no response from the usual fixes. I get strange or unwarranted notifications all the time now too.

None of this happened, or at least not to the extent is does now, when I first got the devices. Both of these devices are fairly new too so I don’t think age could be a factor. Phone bought in August '22, laptop bought in May '22. My new boyfriend was very kind and bought me the new phone because I had been using a POS from 2017. The laptop is for work and was bought and given to me by my employer with thoughtfulness for being able to work remotely.

I noticed the odd activity on my phone so went searching through files and somehow realized my emails had been infiltrated. Odd activity between Gmail and Microsoft accounts I couldn’t remember being me. I ask my boyfriend about it because I thought it was him. I had found some possible evidence on Xbox and our other devices that could be the culprit but he denied having anything to do with it. He asked me if I was sure it wasn’t me… I couldn’t be sure.

Was looking into my accounts and doing some research on my laptop when I came across some suspicious activity and files on my laptop. Now I’m trying to figure out how and when and if it was over the internet or done in person. I have been obsessed with researching and combing through my apps and files and search history on my laptop and phone for 2 weeks straight! I haven’t been able to sleep much and have hardly been eating causing my paranoia to spike and consume me. I haven’t been able to work either because I can’t concentrate, although I realized at some point that I shouldn’t work because I would be inviting a data breach into my business.

The hardest part and most significant factor in all of this is that I believe that my new boyfriend (April '22) is the one behind it all. I couldn’t help but look through some of his web history after the first confrontation and I found more than a couple of websites and cookies and apps that he wouldn’t need except to hack into my things. He has trust issues due to previous relationship and has told me as much but he always denies hacking or tracking/spying on me.

I’ve been trying so hard to find the source or the place my information is being leaked to, so that I have hard evidence that it’s him. I’ve found quite a bit of circumstantial evidence but nothing solid enough to be certain. It’s so sophisticated that none of the Antimalware that I tried has detected anything. It all seems to be disguised as trusted apps to be used as backend or are actually trusted apps using “proper” frontend access but for malicious intent.

My boyfriend has never shown or mentioned any skill in coding or hacking except a few comments here and there that didn’t raise any hairs until after I found out about the breach. Either way I’m confused as why he would continue to lie to me about it when he has obviously seen how much I’ve been affected and has seen how much I know about his doings.

He has gone so intricate that he can see through my camera, listen through my mic, access my location, see what I’m doing on my screens and what I’ve been doing in my apps. He can even change the settings of my devices, and what’s especially creeping me out, is that he can and has made it so I have absolutely no access to certain apps or app settings. I imagine he’s restricted my access in this obvious way because he can see that I’m getting close to either, blocking his access or finding the evidence I need to finally catch him in his lies.

Only thing is, I’ve realized I should have gone to my boss by now and had him help me figure out and reset my laptop because of the risk of customer data breaches. Its just that I fell into this obsessive paranoia so quickly that it took me two weeks to realize where I had gone. I basically ignored my physical needs and my source of income and hyper focused on what feels like a strange game of secret cat and mouse: spy version between my partner and I, while at the same time, somehow ignoring or avoiding the issues it was causing in my relationship.

I don’t know what to think at the moment, as I have returned enough to reality to know that I was deeply delusional and it has created many problems. It’s hard for me to think anything other than “He’s hacked you! He’s watching everything you do! He wants to control you like your last boyfriend!” The proof I have isn’t damning but it’s enough to make me wonder if maybe my delusion just happens to be true? Not to mention my voices won’t stop reminding me that I’m just here for the men who choose me for their research, whatever their whim or pleasure may be.

Help me please!

Welcome to the forum.

As a new member you should know,

Most people aren’t going to read that much in a post.

Maybe you could edit your post and put a summary at the bottom so people can actually help you.

That said, I read it all.

It’s good that you have the insight to know this is delusional,

But can totally appreciate the battle for control of your thoughts.

You gave a lot of details, but I don’t recall you saying you were medicated.

Are you under a doctor’s care?

1 Like

I have one question - Does with restarting your phone can download some new app by own?

This post from you is exactly what is happening and to me. I have so many app on phone that i didnt install. They are strange app. Like voice recording, tracking, video, microphone, page blocking. Etc.

This illnes made me very uncomfortable around suspect everything.

May i ask how old are you? And what you are working? If you want to tell me sure if you dont i will understand.

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