And more functional/able to work/go to school, etc.? Or do they just deaden/flatten you?
At the right (low) dose - helpful in many ways. Deadening and flattening when dose is too high. Was a damned hard lesson for me to learn and pdocs to accept. Most starter doses are too high for me (and for most people actually). There are exceptions, but if you look at dopamine saturation levels and what is required to reduce symptoms and what is prescribed, these do not line up in modern psychiatry. I know, who am I to question such experts, etc. Well, I can provide charts, articles, and real-life testimonies with documentation. Pdocs donāt take antipsychotics - they donāt know how it truly makes one feel. Some pdocs have tested the meds they give their patients. Google it for what they have to say. Stunning and eye-opening.
I agree. My pdoc seems to think she knows more than me about how/what I feel on APs. The thing is, though - even when I took .25 mg of Risperdal, (the lowest dose, I think) I still felt flattenedā¦
I also took 1 mg for a month and my supposed delusions/fear/paranoia or w/e was still there, but I just felt flat, deadened, and more disconnected from my brain, myself and others, and also more depressed because I couldnāt feel muchā¦
Something I discovered along this long road is doctors are people too. Sure, practicing medicine is noble, but how many would be doing it for a tenth of their salary? Iāve seen sooo many patients (and been one myself) who want total symptom elimination. 95 times out of a hundred, that canāt happen, unless you want to be asleep for the rest of your life. With this illness, folks need to learn to accept that symptoms are going to occur, there is no cure or magic bullet, marketing exists for a reason, and at the end of the day, like everything else in this world, anyone suffering from any disease is an opportunity for someone (or many) to make money off of it, sometimes millions, literally.
Thatās true - and they have their own struggles, as everyone does. My mom reminds me that thereās no such thing as ānormalā - and I think I need to remind myself of this sometimes. There are doctors who truly do care about their patients, but as you said, most have not actually tried APs to know how they make one feel.
Iāve had two psychotic breaks in my lifetime, and both times Risperdal got rid of the auditory hallucinations and delusions within a week or two. Unfortunately it also made me lethargic and umotivated. I recently had my pdoc reduce the dosage by 1mg/day and that seems to help me feel less like a zombie in the AM. Also adding low doses of Invega and Paxil seemed to help.
Iām also trying some NAC to see if that will help, and early results are promising. But Iām not sure if my current burst of energy is a one-off, or an actual change.
Iām not even sure what ānormalāā is. How would you define it?
No, because their side efects donāt let me look as a totally normal person. For example, my hands are always trembling.
Iām on 6 mg invega and I have no side effects from it
Symptom free - no delusions, etc. Feel like you can be in public, outside around people without overwhelming fear and feeling like youāre the center of attention, etc. - although I donāt even know if this is psychotic or whatā¦
Not feeling like people are a threat or can read your mind, etc.
Iām positive symptom free, but I have low motivation and very high anxiety. I feel like I canāt have normal social conversations as Iām quite dulled. I canāt really watch films due to major concentration issues. I find going outside a major chore.
I should be glad I have no positive symptoms, but boy do I wish we had something better than anti-psys.
They just deaden/flatten me. They make my social situation worse overall.
They make me feel more normal, in the sense that I have more emotion.
In my good days, I feel normal.
Yes i feel normal. Much better than off APs
If you first go into treatment because of a psychotic break, theyāll start you off too high to get you rational and back to earth. Then its up to you and them to figure out your dosage.
I found it very debilitating at a high dose and found it hard to think and feel, but they were concerned I was going to not take my medicine so they had to go with an injection to make sure I got the meds in. (this was brought on because of my initial hesitation with just taking pills. Classic example of not believing I was sick etc.)
Eventually they lowered the dose, and I felt normal again. Essentially, except for the things that Schizophrenia had taken away now that its full impact had started taking effect.
I still see men following me and theyāre still recording me and the meds donāt make that go away because itās real. So Iām too afraid to work
May I ask what Schizophrenia had taken away and what the meds helped you with? And now you feel like you did before your psychotic break?
APās do and donāt make me feel ānormalā. Normal yes in that Iām not paranoid 24/7. Not normal in that Iām not motivated to get important things done, akathisia at times, coarse intentional tremors, occasional constipation, zero libido and zero emotions.
Definitely not. I feel flattened out emotionally and fattened up physically.
But if they are doing something to get rid of the voices thatās great and helps me feel ānormalā in that respect.