I think you added the second question after I started answering the first - I’m trying really hard not to self-diagnose! I’ve got a few suspicions, but the only thing that’s been confirmed by my doctor is depression with psychosis so far. That could fit into several diagnoses, and I’m going to try to leave that heavy lifting to her 
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I say psychotic symptoms are what others see when you have a psychotic break- otherwise,
it wouldn’t matter to anyone-including the self- if it didn’t annoy others.
When you try to “round up a competitor” for the game.
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Thought just came to me, psychotic episode usually relates to just the positive symptoms- delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking, etc… the more frightening symptoms.
Are you experiencing any of the negative symptoms of a psychotic disorder? I think these usually aren’t as apparent to others. Although they become more debilitating later on during the stabilization period after an acute episode.
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Avolition and cognitive decline, confusion, disorganized thought, definitely, in long lasting waves over a long period of time. These things can also occur with plenty of conditions and I’m not sure I can distinguish them from depression. I find them way more troublesome than the hallucinations.
This set in for the first time after the period I’m wondering about. I even remember talking to my boss about it, telling her that my brain felt like it was wrapped in cotton wool, and her replying that I seemed just fine to her.