Do you remember what you felt like right before sz hit you?
For me i was having issues not wanting to go to school because it stressed me out so much.
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I believe i did, but can’t remember truly.
For example, i was very anxious, my grades dropped significantly, i became lazy, had problems with hygiene, etc
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I was a little different but as many blamed other things. Was too shy. etc. I’d had a depressive break earlier in my life but walked away from meds and survived for a long time until it crept up on me years later.
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The years before sza started, when I was in high school, I became anorexic and then bulimic. I had zero friends in high school, walking the corridors alone all the time. My grades sank from straight A’s to mostly C’s and D’s. I skipped classes all the time.
The years when sza hit me, I was without any friends, married to a criminal, and had a little baby. I was very bulimic, attending nursing school, working part time, and smoking heavily. I was being beat and raped regularly by my husband. My husband and I were also poverty stricken and living in the ghetto on welfare and food stamps. Doesn’t that sound like a nice picture?
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It’s hard to pinpoint. I made a suicide attempt at 14 or 15, but just said it was an accident. No treatment.
Did great in high school, but had problems going to community college, couldn’t sit thru classes without getting restless and distracted.
Despite being in my band, I isolated more and more and began self-medicating with pot, booze, etc.
I think I had one foot in reality and personal success and the other dipped into a big pond of paranoia and depression.
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Since I was around 10 I started having real trouble with school, wanting to go and doing take-home assignments. I tanked my entire school years for homework and take home assignments. Everyone assumed everything was fine because I was so well-behaved, until senior year where I missed more days than there are in the year.
I think that was the point where I broke, and started forming fixed belief that made it hard for me to return to school, preoccupation with surveillance. I’d say that was my first episode.
Interestingly, ten is about the age where my father and mother separated, it was all downhill from there.
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Yes i was in prodormal … lot of stress and insomnia ■■■■ man…
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I’ve always thought cameras were always everywhere. I think that’s prodormal.
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I had depression and mood swings for some months before hearing voices for the first time.
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The negatives got so much worse. I couldn’t leave my bed or my room, and it started getting harder to put sentences together.
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All I wanted to do was stay in my room and smoke weed. Was incredibly apathetic and neglected my social life.
I didnt want to go to school. I was afraid of EVERYTHING.
I believe my prodromal phase lasted years before my first psychotic break. It started early on in college, and lasted until I was 25. It felt like a long lasting depression mixed with odd thoughts about conspiracy theories and the like. I had no idea what was wrong with me…
Talking of the 18 month or so period before first admission: depression(waking early at school and yet not wanting to get out of bed in the morning) skipping meals, deterioration in schoolwork- hard to think,sleeping through free study periods, social anxiety increased, constant worry about the future and if I’d cope at uni if I passed my A levels( was ill equipped for such independence).
That one’s a bummer. The fear of impending adulthood especially for me.
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I was shy/anxious/fearful my entire childhood. I was particularly concerned about the end of the world as a kid. The idea that everything could be gone in one day scared the crud out of me, and informed a sort of carelessness about everyday life. I became more concerned about temporary pleasure than perhaps I should’ve been. I thought the world would end before I was thirty (from all the doom and gloom over climate change and that we’d all be underwater by 2010 according to some authorities back in the nineties).
Also, I found a camera behind a pic when I was housesitting, and that gave rise to my fear of constant surveillance.
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I was prodromal for several years in high school, had panic attacks and voices since 14 years old and then mood swings started when I was 16 - two years before my breakdown at 18.
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