Whenever I get an intrusive thought, they are usually of a violent or sexual nature often really twisted stuff which I don’t identify myself with obviously I know it’s my mind messing up with me, or obsessive thinking, or a voice, my head immediately thinks “crazy person”. I used to voice this but I stopped doing that, trying to be kinder to myself.
Well, I know I’m crazy, that’s not new, always knew. But to keep reafirming that to myself is exhausting. A constant reminder of the psychotic behaviors. Then I try to collect myself and do what a sane person would do, which is reminding myself that it’s not my fault, that I’m not like that, that it’s my mind playing tricks on me, etc. Be the voice of reason inside a mind that lacks reason, or has reason but forgets it.
This week my moods have been all over the place and that influences my psychotic symptoms a lot, I might ask my pdoc for a mood stabilizer.
I think asking for a mood stabilizer is a good idea. I get intrusive images of me doing really nasty stuff to people… It’s exhausting when it happens but I’ve been stable recently and it hasn’t happen in a long time. Maybe a mood stabilizer would make you more stable too and maybe the intrusive thoughts would go away.
Yes, this is a crazy world, where you basically live on faith which seem to be facts. Like i get this weird guy, who i thought was jesus, with a tattoo on his left and right hand. Its, on the left hand, a broken heart and on the right hand a healthy red heart. He then tells me, that you have to choose the narrow road, not the broad road, to enter life and paradise. But dont we all have our hearts on the left side? How can he ask such an impossible thing? A change of heart? This makes me lose hope in life. Its traumatizing to say the least. I really fear that jesus might be right and i end up in hell afterall, for having a heart on the left side and because i am too rational instead of emotional. He implies that you have to give up thinking and choose to live by the heart, which i cant. So i get sent to hell for being un-emotional and egoistical. Well, my schizophrenia is a highway to hell.
i used to get intrusive thoughts of spiritual leaders being sexual with me… i was disgusted with myself… i dont know why but im just glad it doesnt happen much at all anymore.
This is self stigma I know, but it keeps happening. I’m not that judgemental about other peoples craziness to be this judgemental about mine. It’s frustrating
if anything tho… i believe i push myself to be better than i was and ive come a long way… these challenges can perhaps push us to much better scenes than if with a silver spoon
Stress or conflict mostly, sometimes nothing at all.
The obsessive thoughts are more of a pain to be honest, but they’re better than a year ago for sure. I might just need to wait a few more years for them to be completely gone.
i just try and not think about things too much, try and keep a clear head, anything and everything negative is filtered out and i am able to be more positive, all helps because my meds are good hope this helps
Intrusive thoughts are very stressful. I get thoughts to hurt my mom and my dogs and get so scared that I will do it. My therapist also points out that I have no history of acting on them, so that helps. I also have to remind myself they are just thoughts.
You’re not “crazy.” You’re someone with a mental illness. You wouldn’t talk down to yourself if you had cancer. It’s not your fault. I despise the word crazy. Especially when normal people use it to describe some idiosyncrasy they have.
Talk with a therapist. That has really helped me. Good luck!
My main issue is intrusive, vivid thoughts, as well, so vivid they feel like flashbacks (but can’t be as it’s impossible in many examples, such as having my eyes ripped out, obviously that has never really happened). I hope your pdoc lets you try a mood stabilizer, I wish my pdoc would let me try something besides just an AP, maybe eventually. Oh and some of my intrusive thoughts would put the Exorcist to shame, so don’t worry, you’re far from alone with the disturbing WTF content. No wonder some of us have to fight against delusions about demons, good grief.
@SunGirl Thank you, I hate the word crazy too. I just talked to my therapist, he says I’m too good of a person to be defined by my intrusive thoughts and that they are just that, intrusive thoughts. It helped.
@Turnip Damn right! I used to think it was demons, was really sure of it. Now I think it’s brain chemicals.
I have the same thing. I get terrible intrusive thoughts, and it’s very embarrassing because I can’t conceal that I’m having them. I think the best strategy is to blame it on our mental illness.
