I was thinking since I suffered trauma for so many years, suffered from panic attacks and the ilk, and can never seem to forget the past if I could possibly have PTSD. I constantly have nightmares about my wife leaving me and in the past of screamers and the ilk. I was just wondering, with all this going on, could I possibly have PTSD on top of all of the other mental problems I have? I know I should be talking to my Psychiatrist about this but he’s known me for decades and has tried to treat what he thought was GAD. He never brought up PTSD or anything for that matter. I had to find out I was schizoaffective by reading my file and studying on the internet. He told my family I was bipolar. Which is true, but he never mentioned that I had schizophrenia as well. I didn’t find out I was born with schizophrenia until I put two and two together and asked him about it.
So maybe he’s been keeping from me that I have PTSD as well, I don’t even know if it’s even possible to have both. I just know I’m always so off the wall anxious and on high alert and jumpy. And know I’ve had panic attacks from as far back as I can remember and had no idea they were panic attacks. Dunno.
If you have suffered traumas, there is a pretty good chance it is PTSD. I have PTSD as a result of breaking my neck, and what defines PTSD is that you can’t get over it. It keeps coming back
I honestly don’t know if you have PTSD, but I have considered in the past that some of my scarier delusions may have caused me PTSD. Just because they weren’t real, didn’t make them seem any less real to me. IDK.
Yeah. My dad physically and verbally abused me from childhood till I was about 28 years old (I’m 35 now.) And the weird part is. Most of it I don’t remember. But, I know it happened and I can’t get over it. How do I know? I remember telling teachers about how afraid of my dad I was and how he hit me. They confronted my dad and he denied it and I remember things got worse after that. I remember learning never to talk about it ever again to anyone. I remember several times having severe panic attacks in front of him and not understanding at the time what they were. So when he would verbally abuse me for faking symptoms I couldn’t explain what I was feeling and… I think he hit me? But, I’m not sure. I do remember my dad constantly saying “call 911 I’m abusing you!” And, he said the exact same thing after he hit my mother in front of me.
I remember covering my face whenever I was around him as if he was going to hit me. I remember cowering away from him in corners and I remember being terrified of him for years… But the actual physical abuse most of it I don’t remember and its like it never happened. But, I know in my heart it did, if that makes any sense.
But there is one time I remember. I was in high school and my dad picked me up from school raging pissed about something. I was denying whatever it was and the argument escalated into my bedroom. I was lying on the edge of my bed still denying whatever it was we were arguing about I don’t remember. I remember crying and as I continued denying whatever it was my dad got so angry that he pinned me against the wall and tried suffocating me with my pillow. I remember trying to breathe and gasping for air and thinking I was going to die then I remember saying “stop! Stop! I’ll tell you,” and I told him whatever it was. I can’t remember if it was what he wanted to hear or if I really was lying and decided under duress to tell him.
My mother never knew about this incident or she would have left him just for that. I told my dad about it one time and he remembered doing it and said “I was just trying to put a scare into you.” And I remember saying “mission accomplished.” I never ever talked to my dad that way or ever defended myself against him so I do remember that retort and the look on his face. So., even if im nuts and my dad never abused me. He did almost kill me. I remember. Had I not said "Stop! I’ll tell you!’ I probably wouldn’t be talking to you today.
@mmbattlestar wow that’s a lot to endure. Was your dad a heavy drinker?
Your inability to remember parts of it could be dissociation. Your mind is blocking it out to protect you. I have the same issue, but for different reasons
Sorry to hear all the s*** you had to go through my friend
He started drinking heavily and being depressed when we moved to the states when I was six and a half. He drank at night though when we were all asleep so we wouldn’t “know”. It worked. I thought my dad just hated me and my sister was his princess. My sister had to tell me when I turned 18 that dad drank. She figured it out before I ever did.
When you’re a kid you don’t know what hungover is. Which, is likely what my dad was. He stopped hiding his drinking when I became an adult and he does drink pretty heavily to cope with life.
But, I also didn’t know how babies were born until after my sister got pregnant with my oldest niece. I wanted to witness my nieces birth and my dad had to say “I doubt you want to see your sisters privates”
I kicked my sister once straight in the Vagina because I thought she had balls too. Took me a while to figure out that girls were different. I don’t want to tell you how old I was when that happened or what she was told as a result of what I did. It’s embarrassing and a wonder why I’m married now and understand fully where babies come from even though I’ve never actually made one before lol.
That’s very true. My dad drank, but I don’t think it was heavy. He was an angry guy too, but he left my mom when I was eight so I probably missed out on a lot of bulshit
If my mom knew she would have left my dad and my childhood might have been a little different. She knew he drinks and her dad drank too. He was such a miserable old man to me as a kid.