I was full blown 10+ manic, so says the psychiatrist. And I did feel pretty good.
Now nothing feels good anymore. Marijuana isn’t fun, I have no interest in reading or watching films. Completely useless and anhedonic. Have no idea what to say. Anxious. Freaking out.
Why do I feel like this, and how do I feel better?
Do you think you are bipolar? Manic and now going through a depressive phase? Ask your doctor about mood stablizers like metrazipine, or depakote. Hope you feel better.
Meds man. It’s about the only option. Lifestyle can help. Don’t drink caffeine or smoke. Get exercise.
I’ve got the lack of interest thing pretty bad. The only thing that helps is good conversation. Keeps me glued to this site.
Had a good talk with some friends today though.
SoitGoes, I agree man! But good conversations are so hard to come by these days… 
Pdoc always just told me I was energetic borderline-bipolar type…I don’t hit depressed often (because I learned to drug up on food as a miserable kid).
If you try to stay busy on accomplishing activities of daily living plus a little more, odd jobs/money makers/study, you may still be able to sleep and concentrate okay. I’ve noticed the mania is worse amongst the people who work on their feet all day & have to run for 48 hours straight before they fall over. Mania also seems to be made worse by walking to yourself aloud…You might just settle down in front of computer with a goal or read magazines, increasing your project goals a little more at a time. I think it’s retrainable.
I agree. Today the topic was the soul, the collective conscious(not telepathic but the transference of ideas and shit and how they have a life of their own) bunch of other stuff.
I find it’s better to talk to normies in small doses otherwise topics get stale and repetitive or there is just silence.
On here were all schizo so I can be more personal and know that you all are following what I’m saying.
Like I said I’m glued to this place.
Exercise and eat properly.
If that don’t work.
Then start taking s**t they are pushing on you
You sound like a poster child for medicating anyway.
Just go to any doc with your cash or insurance stubs in hand and you will get what you want mmmkay?
My diagnosis is Sz… but lately my doc has been trying to address my “mood element”
Once I hit that euphoric high with mind blowing epiphanies… even base line feelings are dull and low and gray.
It’s hard to enjoy the “normal” after a period of invincibility and connecting to the entire universe.
I am on meds… and soon mood stabilizers are going to be added. I see after this manic swing… I need them.
It’s going to be hard to get used to base line again. But be patient with yourself and the flat gray blahs… will pass.
Good luck… I’m rooting for you.
Thank you Surprised, I feel so “normal/stable” at the start of the day, like the first few hours I wake up. then I get depressed, then I get suicidal. I can’t take living like this anymore. Is the marijuana a factor here, it seems like it, but when I’m using, the depression/suicidal ideation subdues, and I feel like cleaning or jogging. I’d like to read magazines, but I can’t. Can you relate to the change in mood throughout the day? Thank you, you’re great. I’m rooting for you too.
There is no feeling in the world like pure Euphoric mania - no drug can touch the blissful state of mind that pure mania can cause.
Once the mania subsides, you are left with a hollow empty joyless feeling - Believe me I know the feeling.
I still miss the euphoric highs, but I do know that the euphoric highs leads to deep lows later.
If I were you - I would exercise, walk more. It relieves stress and keeps you on track - eating right helps as well.
Right now I am experiencing a lot of mixed episodes, and these are not fun to have - they are pure torture.
I would ask your pdoc about going on a mood stabilizer, like Depakote or Tegretol or Lithium - these squash manic episodes pretty quickly
I can’t speak for everyone… but for me… the pot gave me moments of relief and then hours of flat… depressed… self inflicted damage… since the pot also messed with the ability for the meds to work right.
So then the up and down… never finding level… and knocking out the efficiency of the meds… pot was not my friend at all. I avoid it now. I feel much better. I’m also adding mood stabilizers… I think I’ll be starting Depakote by the end of the month.
I hope you feel better soon.
You explained it perfectly, and gave great advice. I am struggling with food though, I just don’t want to eat. It’s been like this for eight weeks. It will subside though.
I hope you feel better during your mixed episodes. Stay strong Wave. Those are a pain. You shall overcome!
Yes, meds. I am on neurotin, trileptal, and lithium. I’m not sure why I need three.
Thank you for the help.
Thanks for sharing. I know of a few people that feel flat after they smoke. That’s no good that the after effect made you feel so terrible. Good thing you are so aware. I’m not sure if after using I feel flat. Probably not then, but it definitely messes up with the medications.
Good luck with the Depakote. I hope you find it to your liking, and will make you feel great. Take care!