I managed to successfully complete my associate’s degree but knew I was in trouble and probably needed to go to the Psych Ward instead before the last class was over. I joked that here I am completing a 4.0 in History and now I’m heading to a loony bin. When I first went in I had a 2 page printout about how I wanted to be treated in the Ward. 3 trips later I just simply had a list of the meds I was taking. Over time I slowly changed my attitude and decided to not worry as much about sleeping, disassociated myself from the expectations of society, quit a terrible porn habit, and cleaned myself up from the sleeping aids I had accumulated that were no longer working anyway. No I’m not doing anything right now but after helping my Mom prepare for company this holiday and realizing how tired and in pain I was in it’s just as well for now. I had a brief period of mood swings from the anxiety over the coming visit of my family but things turned out well and I’m just happy to have my family’s and health care provider’s forgiveness for my actions during my hypomanic stage and had a wonderful Christmas. I’m also glad I am sleeping again without sleep aids and their side effects. I hope to get back to work or school again some day but for now I am recovering from the traumatic time I had and preparing to live on what I have right now.
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