For the second night in a row, it is 3 AM and I have gotten exactly 0 moments of sleep. My thoughts are racing, I am having to go from one idea to the next, and I am incredibly jittery. For 5 hours after everyone went to bed, I stayed up switching between music ideas, science ideas, and setting up my recording studio at home over and over and over again, because my thoughts would never stay with one topic. I also feel extremely angry and irritated at every single thing around me. I just can’t slow myself down…
The thing is I feel rested… full of energy… Manic…
I feel as if every idea I have had in the past few days (which is probably a good 15) has been a “genius” one. I feel like I can do anything in the world, whether considered possible or not.
I feel eccentric, euphoric…
This is why I was asking about manic episodes. Do you guys think I might be having one? I have had similar feelings… But never like this… This is to a whole new extent.
I don’t have meds - this is the first time I’ve even thought of mania. My psychologist and I are trying to figure out for sure if it’s sz, bipolar, plain depression, etc. I’m thinking sz and bipolar though. Cause I have had severe depressive episodes in the past.
Okay I have manic episodes too, so if you can do it try and sit quiet, with no music. Think of your mind as a sky and your thoughts as clouds and they dissipate. Do this for a while, it will calm you down. It helps me heaps when I’m manic.
If you can’t seem to calm down, remember it passes. If you’re having that feeling that everything is wonderful try and remember some of the crappy things in the world. Those feelings of depression that we can’t do anything about the wrongs in the world really come in handy at these times, for me at least. One thing helps calm the other. It’s the way I learned how to handle my manic depressive cycles.