Schizophrenia.com

Broke my sobriety last night

#1

I went bowling with my cousins, who are all in college and the same age as me, and we had some pitchers of beer and I had like 5 or 6 drinks. I wasnt drunk, just not exactly sober. It takes alot for me to get drunk. I have a natural tolerance to alcohol. I didnt go crazy or have symptoms, I just had a good time and I haven’t regretted it, it was great.

The thing is, I just can’t go back to drinking regularly. When I woke up, I remembered when I would make a coffee and spike it with some whiskey, and I realized that I can drink without losing control, but I used to be an alcoholic and I need to keep my new “social lubricant” view on alcohol instead of “medicine” view I used to have.

I just felt like sharing this experience and asking what your opinions on recovered alcoholics are, I’m sure some of you are like me, recovered from alcoholism.

I wouldnt have even thought about it if it wasnt with family. I just wanted the experience of having fun with them, without our parents and grandparents around. My friends are not as gentlemanly or civilized when they drink, but my cousins are very much so. My family just enjoys alcohol, there have only been two instances of alcoholism in it, me and my uncle, and we’re both recovered. The rest are very responsible about it and behave very well on it.

#2

I can only speak for myself. I’ve been sober for almost 4 years. I’ve considered drinking socially a LOT and then as I play it out in my head I see the amount of alcohol consumed growing and the amount of social activities enveloping my entire week. And then I say hey, I’m older, I can do it! But then I remember that when I do something I like I do it to an extreme. I don’t want to risk it. When I drink, sometimes I like to blackout, and when I’m drunk its way more likely that ill want to do that

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#3

Every alcoholic I’ve heard speak in AA say they can never drink again successfully. Once they cross that line into alcoholism they can never control their drinking again. They say if they pick up that first beer or mixed drink it leads them right back into alcoholism, right where they left off when they quit.The Big Book says that it is the dream of every alcoholic to some day be able to control their drinking. But it’s a pipe dream. They find that it is futile. Maybe you don’t fit into this category but if I was you i would be very careful with alcohol if you had problems with it before. I used to drink, but not alcoholically. But I am addicted to crack. I got clean from everything in1990.

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#4

my brother in law has little control over his drinking and does not stop until he passes out, it is unattractive to my sister in law and his two young daughters to find him lying on the living room floor , i am trying to convince my nieces to draw a mono brow with permanent black marker ! i know i am evil but my name is dark sith !
but you seem very disciplined kind of person so a few drinks occasionally with the right kind of people should be fine, every thing in moderation that is what i say.
take care

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#5

What’s life without a couple drinks from time to time? I personally think you’re alright but you should be able to accept yourself with your flaws. You don’t have to drink every day. Some people can handle it and some people just can’t. Know thyself, there should be almost nothing you can’t control.

I have a few habits which I wish I didn’t do but it pretty much something my body must have(a couple of sweets every now and then). I used to smoke marijuana every day until I moved in with my mother and had a psychotic episode. But I never got addicted the harder stuff like heroin or cocaine. Cleanliness is godliness and marijuana is a very clean drug.

Losing control is a bad thing and when that starts you know you have a problem.

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#6

thanks for the replies! I think I am all ok, I was just curious to see what you guys thought. I guess it must be true that I am not an alcoholic if I stopped at a few and didnt get wasted like I used to. I had another opportunity to consume alcohol at a new years eve party today but I passed, i had a diet coke and drove my friend, so I guess I dont need to worry!

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#7

@mortimermouse
First, I sort of see Alcoholism as once you have it, you have it… A person is either in relapse or remission.

I sort of went through what you did at a few of my sobriety attempts. Got detoxed and stayed straight and narrow… then just had a few drinks and didn’t get drunk and it was all Ok. My sneaky brian shouted out… “See, your cured, you can drink again”

But then I had a few more next time and it was all ok, my sneaky brained thinking rejoiced. So I’m cured right? So then a few more and I wasn’t hung over and how bad would it be to just get a little buzz on for old time sake. I didn’t loose control, so I must be healed, and then what’s a little buzz on again since I can handle it so well… What would actually happen if I just got drunk once. Only once though… (until next time)

Just drunk one time and I was sober for a few weeks… I must be able to handle this… Cool. On and on my sneaky brain played and I stopped taking my meds since I was drinking and forgot to take them. Then I felt great in psychosis. I was happy and excited again in psychosis since I could drink again and still function and not take my meds… I was functioning really well… Until I wasn’t.

You know this as a psych major… It’s not just the physical tolerance, it’s the mental justification too. Sneaky brained thinking worms in by inches until it’s too late.

When you said you just wanted the experience of having fun with them… I sort of got a bit worried for you. I’m rooting for your success.
Good luck and be careful.

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#8

im away from heavy bingeing 8 weeks, i found when drinking it ruined my meds, motovation, seast of life, since away from it, i think better,feel better all round, im losing more weight, full of motovation, fresh every morning, sleeping better, no false high, no drunking talk, the benefits from stopping are all bonuses, long may it continue

#9

I’m alcohol-dependent, not a true alcoholic. I get into jams when I’m drinking too much, I get myself to stop by using tactics such as modifying my activities. But during a slow med-withdrawal attempt beginning in February, I began to turn to alcohol more and more to have fun and to sleep. I quit meds almost completely in April, as the months went on, I was getting worse and worse results with melatonin, Ativan, and other sleep drugs, so more and more alcohol.

Then I fiddled with 5-HTP in October, at first I thought I’d be able to cut down, but went wild drinking and listening to music instead. Oops!

A recent crisis has forced me back on medication, I see it as an opportunity to stop the drinking. It’s going to take weeks, cut it down day by day as I get relief from the crap, but I have an opportunity to retrain myself. I had become a nightly habit, and it was more and more.

#10

Clearly, not everyone defines “alcoholic” and “sobriety” the same way.

When it comes to researching how such terms might fit me, I’m done with research. Thank you very much, I’d prefer not to drink again so I don’t have to see where it might take me!

Jayster

#11

thanks! I think I know myself pretty well, I can smell my vices creeping up on me. I think I wont drink again for a good while, I was happy with one night of breaking my T-totaling. It was really because I had never drank with them before, I dont even remotely want to drink with my friends, who have seen me drink plenty of times

#12

As a young man I try to be a drunk but it didn’t suit me. I feel I’m lucky.