This poem came to me as I read this post so I thought I’d share it.
Are you out?
No
I know what follows
The stares
The watching
The judgement.
Are you out?
Yes
The.walking away
The pain of loss
The cruelty
Are you out?
Yes
The acceptance
The support
The kindness
Are you out?
Yes
I have schizoaffective disorder
I will not be ashamed
My family thinks it’s bipolar with psychotic features but still feel it’s something else. I personally know it’s sz, and I’m embarrassed and scared by it. Im not afraid of what could go wrong i just hate the stigma of it. I’d rather act like the bipolar is getting me down when it’s really negative symptoms. The one friend I have only thinks it’s bipolar too.
I am only “out” to my family and close friends. I’m not open about it to the rest of the world because I am concerned as to how it could affect my job prospects, or even just getting into nursing school. It’s tiring and I wish I didn’t have to keep it a secret. I’m high functioning, my psychosis is pretty stable most of the time (haven’t had a major episode in years) and it is unlikely to interfere with my work so it’s frustrating that because of stigma I have to hide it and worry over it.
I’m “out”, but not by my choice. My first husband honked that horn loudly at every chance available.
I’m always trying to intentionally act responsibly just to show those who know- but never, ever acknowledge it to me- that I can be someone they wont have to fear.
As long as nobody comes right out with the “Sz word”, we’ll all just pretend we’re ok.
(Family & close friends)
I have told a few select people but that’s it.
I don’t tell people. It’s none of their business. I’m not hurting anyone by not telling so I keep it to myself.
The way I always look at it is: Why tell someone something that they are just going to use against me?
I have nothing to hide.
I tell everyone. I do it for a few reasons. One reason is that I have a lot of false memories, and it is sometimes difficult to remember which memories are real and which are fake. If I spend tons of energy lying about something, it makes it even harder for me to remember what reality actually is. I don’t keep secrets.
Another reason is that at least once a month, someone will tell me that they have a mental illness too, and they were afraid to tell anyone because they were so ashamed. When they see me waving the metaphorical sz pride banner, it makes them realize they have nothing to be ashamed over.
Also, I know there are many MI folks who are not in positions where they can be open, due to stigma and prejudice. Folks who work in certain fields must keep quiet in order to not get fired or blacklisted. I am lucky enough that I can help bust stigma on the front lines. I have above average social skills, even for a neurotypical, I am attractive, and I am 100% nonviolent. I put a good, nonthreatening face on the illness for people in my life. Maybe, if enough people are open about their illness, the stigma will fade enough that everyone can one day be out without worrying.
TV News, TV shows, and movies, and the government all do a good job of scaring the ■■■■ out of the general public about us. They assume that most of us are violent, and that we are so delusional all the time that we are not to be listened to or taken seriously. While I don’t tell strangers about it, many people in my area already know, and they keep telling other people about me. If I could go back in time, I would do a lot of things differently. I know now what not to say, what to say, what not to do, etc., to keep from being hospitalized, and to fly under their radar and keep out of trouble. If only I knew that back then, things would be different now. But all I can do is move forward and try to stay out of trouble.
As it’s national coming out day ? Was it yesterday? Anyway yes I’m pretty open about having mood issues.
Let’s see selfie of you
Um, no. I don’t put pictures of myself online.
All that and the one thing you took away is that she’s attractive,
For shame, @Magicfish!
Also, @Ninjastar, I think that’s super cool that you’re all out there with it.
Inspiring people.
I forgot to mention that a lot of people I work for know about my diagnosis because I write about it frequently.
But I started noticing the last few years that the ones who know, start to just contact me for articles relating to mental illness. I enjoy writing about it, and my own experiences, but I’m a freaking gifted writer, I deserve more than that.
So, I’ve started separating those sides too.
Why does it have to be so complicated?
Nope I actually enjoyed and thought it was a great post.
I just never seen a mod post selfie
I was just giving you a hard time, homie!
Now that you mention it, I’ve not seen any moderators post selfies either,
Interesting.
Hmm…
I feel like I’m about to come up with some weird conspiracies…
Lol I forgot you had the weirdest sense of humour on the forum haha.
Have u stopped weed yet
P.s you look stylish in your profile pick
@GoldenRex, just a reminder it’s against the rules to post while under the influence, or to discuss drug use on the forum. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.
Apologies, everyone!
Lol thats funny Rex