Are these negative symptoms or depression?


#1

Idk why but I’m suddenly doubting AGAIN what I’m dealing with. The symptoms are so vague I can’t tell between the two!!!

I’m not sad, im only sad about feeling like this but I’m not sad at the core of the feeling.

I have no motivation to do anything, the only times I’ll groom is either if my parents force me to, or if I’m going out and don’t wanna be seen looking bad. I also have body dysmorphia, I care enough about my appearance that it makes me shower and wash my hair and change my clothes and shave and clip my nails when I go out. I brush my teeth only because I hate the stench of myself, so I only do it in the morning and that’s it. I’ll eat if it’s conveniently already prepared for me, otherwise I’d rather be hungry than have to make something for myself. Even if it’s microwavable I still sometimes won’t make it because that’s how little I care. But all I know is that normally I’m not like this. When I was depressed in the past I wasn’t THIS unmotivated.

I don’t have fun with the things I used to have fun with (playing video games, reading books, nature, etc) so I do nothing but surf the internet all day. But I THINK I still enjoy going out with friends, that keeps me entertained. So am I anhedonic? Partially?

From the above, I hang out with friends but mostly just to kill the time. I don’t really care about them anymore or how they’re doing, no compassion or interest for them. I’m just so bored.

My emotions aren’t blunted other than the fact that I can’t cry anymore, no matter what. I can still laugh and get angry and other expressive emotions. My grandparents’ passed away, didn’t feel sad at all for them even though I know I should.

I’m suicidal but mostly due to me being unable to continue tolerating feeling like this. I don’t feel suicidal cuz I feel worthless or anything like that.

No alogia or jumping from one idea to the next.

My libido is good.

My cognition is spotty, and my concentration is awful

Idk if I’m actually apathetic, srsly what does that even actually mean? Like does caring about me not caring count? I just don’t wanna feel like this anymore. I desire getting better.

Oh and I tried some stuff to help in case it’s depression. We tried Prozac (with Zyprexa so Symbyax), Buspar, and now Latuda and I still feel like this. I heard how Latuda was amazing for bipolar depression…

So yeah I’m just really confused.


#2

Probably a mix of the 2, along with med side-effects.


#3

Thanks, I definitely think that med side effects play a role. I didn’t feel like this since starting Zyprexa back in February. It’s persisted onLatuda, too


#4

I feel similar to you…life can be tough but you need to keep the chin up…a break will come in time


#5

I really, really, hope so!


#6

@DeFyYing, Honestly, since you say you are suicidal, it sounds like depression to me. There is never suicidality without depression. Besides, you tested positive for depression on the depression test. So, that confirms it. But, I’m not a pdoc, so, ask your pdoc.


#7

Damn, if that’s the case idk what else we can do anymore honestly. We tried Symbyax, Latuda, and Lamictal with no success, and Seroquel left me too tired and disabled for it to be viable. Any antidepressant will probably make me manic. Man this sucks


#8

@DeFyYing, like I said, I am no doctor. I could be all wrong. Who knows? Your best bet would be to ask your pdoc.


#9

Idt its depression cause like u said u dont feel worthless u just dont like feeling empty. I think it could be a side effect of the med cause i feltthat way for like the first year of taking invega and still do sometimes. Have u tried going without meds? If u know u cant dont do it but id ask for med switch or wait it out for a while. I know for me i still have similar problems like a lack of focus and motivation but not that long ago i was able to actually laugh till my side hurted with my boy. So maybe u might just have to wait it out and it will pass. But if you know u most definitely cant deal with it and if u got the option just try and switch meds cause everybody reacts differently to each AP


#10

I think it might be a side effect too, this didn’t start until I tried Zyprexa back in February. Before that this never happened before, and Zyprexa was the first AP I was on at actual therapeutic doses for psychosis (ive been on low dose APs for mania in the past with no issue). Plus im still having psychosis on Latuda anyway so I might have to try something else anyway.

While I do think that my psychosis is milder than lots of others I see here, certainly much milder than my mania, I still think that being off an AP can be dangerous unfortunately. My paranoid delusions, while I have insight, are extremely uncomfortable and absurd


#11

Probably stay on an AP then but it dont even sound like its working. There something out there for you. Probably like a low combo of meds. What does your pdoc say about your mood? I would recommend invega but everybody is different. I never had delusions so i cant speak on how good it works for that but for me it silenced my voices. But it had some side effects that ruin alot of who i was before i got on APs. Ive heard some APs take awhile to get in effect. But if its been months i would switch even though it might be worth it to just wait years… nah i wouldnt do it you only live once from what we know and the last thing you want to do is spend it feeling miserable


#12

hm.
sounds like it could be a mixture of depression and negative symptoms.
but speaking from my experience, it’s leaning towards suicidal depression.
i mean, i don’t care the reason for suicidal thoughts, if you have them, you have them.
get me?
you still have a lot of antidepressants to try, lots of ap’s too.
don’t give up.
if worse comes to worse, ETC is always an option.
but try the best you can to make that depression better.
best of luck.


#13

I don’t know. No one knows. But by the way you wrote your symptoms it sounds like you suspect it’s not depression. Let me ask you one thing, do you have hope?


#14

@Ayecoop Thank you, hopefully I’ll find the right one! And yeah my mood has been great, I can smile and laugh and tell jokes and stuff. Just hung out with some friends last night and I was having a great time with them, the only problem was I’ve been having this delusion that this girl I had gotten the number of a few days ago at a picnic has been watching everything I do by putting a chip into me, so I didn’t say any offensive jokes cuz I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of her. But I know that’s ridiculous lol

@Sunshine Thank you! Hopefully I’ll find the right one. I’m a little afraid of antidepressants since both Lexapro and Effexor made me reallyyyyy manic, but ur right maybe one of them will work.

@leaf Yeah I guess I’ve been suspecting it’s not it cuz it started with Zyprexa and also from trying depression treatments (Prozac, Buspar, and Latuda) without any improvement. But who knows maybe it’s just treatment-resistant depression. I’m more intimidated of it being negative symptoms since there doesn’t seem to be many treatments available besides Sarcosine and maybe stimulants (risky though)

I’d say I have hope, just scared and frustrated. I plan on becoming functional again one day and going to school and becoming a doctor! Dunno if that’s delusional or not but I think it’s possible


#15

A chip? Ar least ur aware of the fact that its not true. It is a little funny tho but before i got my diagnosis i thought i was possessed cause i aint never heard of schizophrenia before. I knew of ghost and demons and other dimensions but never suspected i was just mentally ill. Couldnt even grasp my mind around it. But i would try hanging with my friends more cause it sounds like thats where you forget about how ur feeling when your home. I got a friend who calls me from California (thats where im from) and i have such a good time talking to him that i be forgetting all about that i take AP injections and have low moods. Your amigos with possibly a med switch or adjustment might be your answer. The only way to find out is to speak up and go and find out.


#16

So for me in the past the major ingredient in my serious depression was missing all hope. So if you have hope that’s a really good thing. That doesn’t answer your question but it should give you some comfort. I often wonder what of my symptoms is the depression and what of my symptoms is the negatives and at the end of the day I guess I can blame both of those bastards equally. So I have two reasons not to take a bath, but 1000 reason to do it anyway. So I fight like Don Quixote and am thankful the windmills don’t have a sense of smell. As far as seeking treatment for depression we walk a very scary fine line with our sza where we choose between being depressed or possibly being manic and then followed by depression anyway. So in a way we might be better off staying mildly depressed where we do less harm to our lives, a kind of unhappy medium. When it becomes obvious that it’s depression and not negatives, well then maybe that would be the time to seek treatment. I’m just thinking. Till then treat it as negatives and hope for the best. I hope my rambling helps in some way and is not too disjointed to follow. I wish you all the best.


#17

Haha don’t worry I understand, thanks for the help! I hope u won’t have to deal with that unhappy medium for long, friend!


#18

There are still other drugs you can try. There is a lot of overlap in these things. There is an antidepressant called “Effexor” that works on both serotonin and adrenalin. That might be a possibility. Talk seriously with a pdoc about it. Remember, the squeeky wheel gets the grease.


#19

Thank you! Unfortunately I tried Effexor and it made me manic, but idk maybe with a mood stabilizer it could be a different story. I’ll keep it in mind though!


#20

For me, I called it negative symptoms if there was no mood component. Because I did often have times where I didn’t feel sad or depressed at all, I simply didn’t have the motivation, energy or focus to do anything or take care of myself. I wanted to. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

However that ended up not being negative symptoms in the end either. It was an undiagnosed sleep disorder :grimacing: once starting a stimulant I no longer got any of that.

Weirdly, geodon also got rid of it when I was on it despite making me even sleepier. That’s still a mystery to me.