Also, not to be a downer, but you were just suicidal yesterday. I wouldn’t call you cured, or even in remission, just yet. It’s good that you’re feeling so great today, but be careful not to fall victim to black and white thinking. Where everything is always amazing and always has been, or life is the worst ever and nothing can improve. I struggle with this way of thinking, too. It helps me to keep a journal. That way, when I’m depressed, I can look back and say, “I wasn’t always this miserable. I was happy three days ago.” And when I think I’m cured, I can remind myself that last week was a rough time for me.
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Every time I went off meds I relapsed, and i did this a lot, always thought I was cured when i was well and stopped, with bad results, even sometimes hospital.
The only time I didn’t relapse was when I went into remission and a pdoc took me off my meds slowly, and i was fine for 5 years. But then i relapsed again and ever since i needed to be on meds. I tried gradually reducing my meds but it didn’t work, i just got sick again. So I gotta accept im on meds for life.
I think my first three years of sz were the worst, but each relapse is bad when I am in it. Its not nice to experience voices, intrusive thoughts, agitation, deadness and self harm urges. Not worth it.