Hi,
I’m a 26 year old student from wales. I have been hearing voices for the past 3 years. They are loud derogatory unpleasant and nasty.
What’s really bothering me at the moment is the anhedonia and apathy .
I feel this intense discomfort and burning feeling in my scalp - it’s itchy and unpleasant and I can’t seem to feel it when someone gives me a head massage. Just an itchy numbness. I find this distressing . Im a very tactile person and also have aspergers. I used to be calmed in the past by head massage - it would improve my mood and calm me . But now when someone gives me a head massage I feel this numbness and intense discomfort and achiness.
I also can’t feel pleasure from sex, bathing or socialising . Because of the lack of pleasure in sex I have no sex drive and have avoided having sex or a boyfriend for over a year. I get nothing from the sex so why should I bother? It actually makes me quite frustrated and angry
Please will someone help with the anhedonia and apathy it is really affecting my quality of life and motivation
I also have this intense emotional numbness . I cannot feel any emotions good or bad- this means no happiness no sadness no joy no motivation no anxiety no anger. It also means I have no sex drive - I think you need to feel things emotionally to be attracted to someone or feel aroused. As it is I feel completely dead inside - no sex drive , motivation or feeling that I want to do anything . I used to be highly motivated but the things I used to care about passionately now make me feel nothing and I mean nothing . I have also lost my empathy . I cant seem to feel what other people feel and quite frankly don’t care anymore what other people feel like . I know it is not normal for me to feel like this and I desperately want my old self back
I am still annoyed by the lack of motivation and lack of emotions . It is quite an unpleasant uncomfortable feeling- it’s not something I want to experience for the rest of my life .
The voices have been telling me that they did surgery on me to ‘punish’ me without my consent and knowledge . I am very worried that a nasty malevolent, arrogant and spiteful surgeon has operated on me and taken my feelings away . I am having an mri scan on Sunday so hopefully this will tell me if I have had any surgery done
I used to suffer from an anxiety disorder . But one day I woke up and all my feelings had gone including my anxiety . Problem I have now is it also seemed to get rid of the positive feelings like motivation , happiness, empathy etc. also my sex drive
Mine has been in the toilet for a while now
Interestingly, on a previous med I was not actually experiencing it to the degree that I am now
Whether that’s the Amisulpride working, or progression of the illness it’s hard to say
All I can recommend is not to give up with trying new treatments, as even if there is a small chance of being rescued it’s by far worth it in my opinion to at least give it a go
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