Am I not doing enough to get better?

It’s been a year since my first psychotic episode. I am very apathetic about every thing. I used to be a very engaged person. I would write poetry and short stories, I drew and painted, I used to love blogging and hiking. Now I can’t do any of that. I simply have no desire. When I try I feel no enjoyment. It’s as if I’d be better off at home doing nothing. But I force myself to try. I go out shopping with my family. Occasionally I’ll paint or drew a sketch. I even have two part time jobs, one of them working as a clinic assistant in a women’s health facility. I keep busy but nothing is satisfying. It’s like life has no point. I’m going through the motions with no pay off and it’s tiring. I fear the rest of my life will be like this. Does anyone else have this problem? Has anything helped? My therapist thinks that adding a new medication may give me a slight bump in motivation that could make things easier but I m very doubtful. Maybe I am just stuck in a self limiting belief loop? I don’t know

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Have you tried meditating at all? It is just with the hints of depression you exhibit I think it could help.

After a few weeks of daily meditation you might find instead of dullness you find a spark.

Anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I don’t meditate but I could definitely give it a try! Thank you

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It wouldn’t hurt you to have a medication review. Myself, I felt much like you do when I was on Effexor. Just a bad match for me. Not sure if all SSRI medications are like this, or not. It just made me feel dead and numb inside

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What are you on now? Do you still feel this way?

For myself, I just weaned my way of Effexor. I guess I could have tried another at that time, but I chose to use 5-HTP which is a precursor to serotonin. It works wonders for me

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Do you feel that way when you are going through the activities?

I do, unfortunately

It may take some time to feel less apathetic. You are way ahead of the curve though, others and I were still bedridden a year after being dz. Could be a sign that your prognosis is good.

It took me a year and a half to return to university. My haven was the gym, I’d run and play basketball every day. Reason I think I’ve avoided the depression bug most of my adult life. I’d incorporate exercise, which might help with the flat feelings.

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Have you try exercising, take a little walk outside when its nice. Maybe it will help boost your mood a little. I hope you feel better. I sometimes feel like this too, your not alone i understand.

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