It’s been a year since my first psychotic episode. I am very apathetic about every thing. I used to be a very engaged person. I would write poetry and short stories, I drew and painted, I used to love blogging and hiking. Now I can’t do any of that. I simply have no desire. When I try I feel no enjoyment. It’s as if I’d be better off at home doing nothing. But I force myself to try. I go out shopping with my family. Occasionally I’ll paint or drew a sketch. I even have two part time jobs, one of them working as a clinic assistant in a women’s health facility. I keep busy but nothing is satisfying. It’s like life has no point. I’m going through the motions with no pay off and it’s tiring. I fear the rest of my life will be like this. Does anyone else have this problem? Has anything helped? My therapist thinks that adding a new medication may give me a slight bump in motivation that could make things easier but I m very doubtful. Maybe I am just stuck in a self limiting belief loop? I don’t know
Have you tried meditating at all? It is just with the hints of depression you exhibit I think it could help.
After a few weeks of daily meditation you might find instead of dullness you find a spark.
Anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I don’t meditate but I could definitely give it a try! Thank you
It wouldn’t hurt you to have a medication review. Myself, I felt much like you do when I was on Effexor. Just a bad match for me. Not sure if all SSRI medications are like this, or not. It just made me feel dead and numb inside
What are you on now? Do you still feel this way?
For myself, I just weaned my way of Effexor. I guess I could have tried another at that time, but I chose to use 5-HTP which is a precursor to serotonin. It works wonders for me
Do you feel that way when you are going through the activities?
I do, unfortunately
It may take some time to feel less apathetic. You are way ahead of the curve though, others and I were still bedridden a year after being dz. Could be a sign that your prognosis is good.
It took me a year and a half to return to university. My haven was the gym, I’d run and play basketball every day. Reason I think I’ve avoided the depression bug most of my adult life. I’d incorporate exercise, which might help with the flat feelings.
Have you try exercising, take a little walk outside when its nice. Maybe it will help boost your mood a little. I hope you feel better. I sometimes feel like this too, your not alone i understand.
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