@everhopeful what do you mean numb ? Do you feel like you don’t have your usual emotions watching say a movie ? I tend to cry more now that I’m not on Abilify (watching a movie). I can also laugh at comedic scenes that I wouldn’t usually find funny
I don’t get down about my inability to do stuff, i think it’s interesting. Of course it was hard to accept early in course of illness, i would cry a lot. But five years later i’m not down about it anymore and all i take is zyprexa. I think ppl who r down about it havent gone through acceptance stage, this site is a mix of ppl who r early and still adjusting and veterans.
I have been diagnosed for 7 years now. @everhopeful@Esm It took me 3 years to just feel like myself again.
What do you mean by acceptance? Should I accept I am someone who can not do anything and I am ill and doomed for the rest of my life on disability. Not in a single moment. It maybe a character but i fail over and over again until I reach my goal, whatever it is.
I am not in denial, I am perfectly conscious that I was ill, humiliated, psychotic, alone, traumatized. What else?
But I wanna move on and have a good life. I am always trying to find ways to improve the quality of my life in certain things which are possible for anybody.
Good for u. U don’t have to compare urself to me. I am in weird position that i am bedridden when i am alone. Only time i’ll do activities is with family. I am my therapists only bedridden sz, and if i got a life i would be her only bedridden patient that also has social life.
29 Very severe anhedonia. Don’t think i could make the ppl on this forum understand. I really felt life was not tollerable when it first hit, and it kinda isnt, that’s why i lie in bed. Many peeps on this forum are isolated, but they still do activities alone. That’s why i am weird, if ever i am alone i lay in bed, so to do stuff i have to break sz boundaries and be social, but that is painful too.
It is not easy at all. All of us are struggling in something, condition, medication, anhedonia, hallucinations and it is a constant struggle but you need to keep the ambition to achieve something in your life, you know? It is something I struggle with too. I got fired twice, last year -the whole year I was talking to myself, crying, depression. It is like the end of the world. But ups and downs is a lot better and satisfying than being completely dysfunctional or just ‘let go’