We all bear our cross in our own way. U remind me of pixel the way u think everyone can function like u. I just dont think that its true. Most stuff u enjoy doing i probably would have a miserable time doing, like watching a movie for example. Its not important how life turns out to me, cuz however it happens is the way it was meant to be. I am fine with being bedridden for the rest of my life, thats just how life happened to go.
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I wasnât always high functioning like I am now. Back in 2004-2006, I was practically bedridden too. I thought I was turning into my father who spent the majority of the last years of his life happily in bed. I was the same way. Perfectly happy in bed. I had my phone, my books, my cat, and my music and thatâs all that I thought I needed to be happy. I spent all day and all night in bed. It alarmed both my son and me. I complained to my nurse and she thought nothing of it. I asked her if I was turning into my father. She said that she did not know. Any way, she was right not to be alarmed. It did not last.
I dont do anything in bed, no tv no computer no books. Sometimes i use this phone to go on this forum or check news. I been through hell trying to do a lot in life with these severe problems, school, work, etc. i need to push little limits. But everything is so godamed unpleasant to do.
I too became symptomatic later in life and I am symptom-managed on Abilify. However, when I recently asked my pdoc if my mental acuity would return enough to return to work as a nurse and she said it wasnât likely⌠it broke my heart. I can manage to do some stuff but I feel like I live in a fog and I have severe social anxiety. Even posting on the forums is difficult. I knew I couldnât return to work in my current state but I still had hope.
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Happy cake day @Valarie 
You are not the only one who suffers severe anhedonia. I am in the same boat. I push myself to read books and watch youtube videosâŚwhile I lie in bed. Thatâs basically my life in a nutshell. I try however to keep a positive mindset and my family pushes me to do other activities sometimes tooâŚ
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Accepting sz is one thing, living with it is another. For those of us on here who were stricken with it early in life without necessarily knowing it. i.e. masking it, oh, thinking everyone is going through this, and teachers/parents not picking it up at an early stage, etc. then it is tougher to get a handle on this illness.
Maladjustment to the illness because of poor coping strategies becomes a way of life. If you are lucky enough to develop it later on in your adult life then good for you. By that stage you have done x number of things and made a decent success of it. Those who are still struggling with it maybe less well mentally equipped to change. One is not better than the other, because in the final analysis theyâve both got sz, itâs just different.
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