A message for those who continue to bitch (and those who don’t).
If one looks to see the pattern, it should be clear that…
Those who really want to learn the facts so that they can climb out of the holes they’re in are treated with the respect and dignity they deserve for being open-minded and willing enough to take responsibility for their recovery to whatever extent it is possible.
And those who want to continue to use the dysfunctional ego defenses (see below) they learned as children to defend themselves against the parental, family, schoolyard bully, older sibling or other abuse and not face the fact that they are doing so may be told that that is what they are doing if they post it on this web forum.
Do we do each other any good whatsoever by lying to each other or not helping each other to see what we do to ■■■■ ourselves up even more?
And scroll down to the heading, “Vaillant’s categorization of defence mechanisms.”
Strange dramas on these boards sometimes. I typically don’t think anything of it. It’s just a forum. I think every person I’ve met here, so far, has been pretty civil.
If one just step aside for a minute to see a big picture, it is clear that most of the folks here
( including me) are
A) consciously or unconsciously trapped in the toddler state of mind. Which looks like this: I would like to eat a candy, but someone has to buy it for me, bring it to me and unwrap it for me.
B) conscionsly or unconsciously projecting onto him our anger for our parents, teachers, bullies and whole cruel word that doesn’t want to satisfy our needs.
Just my 2 cents.
He doesn’t need to feed his ego with anyone’s suffering. He’s been there and he devotes his time to throw the rope for others to climb out. What’s the matter with you people?
My problem is that we have someone that is bipolar telling people who are sz , what they are thinking and how they are think. If your gonna scald people you got to have the props…
Well , I count myself as reasonable , I usually only read his posts when someone has a problem. Then in the spirit of ‘what’s all this about’ , when I do read his posts I usually find them passive aggressive.
Normally I never read his posts.
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that @notmoses mania is getting the better of him. He has an increasingly contemptuous attitude towards most other posters here and what he sees as their level of intelligence.
Chest-thumping negativism? “I will (somehow) (?) get back at those who abused, invalidated and made fun of me when I was little… by projecting those I cannot attack (because I depend on them even if I hate them) onto those who make it too clear to me that I am responsible for my own recovery.” How (well) does that work?
“You have to play by the RULES!” What? I had to give up expecting people to play by any “rules” I thought I had.
I stayed sick for decades by believing in the common cult-ural fairy tales. After three suicide attempts and nine years in hell, it dawned on me that I would have to stop being a whining brat looking for doctors and pharmacists to “fix” me… and grow the ■■■■ up.
Don’t worry about his label. He just wants to help others with what he has learned that has helped him and others.
And it can be frustrating when one sees that no one cares at times.
Plus with everything I read here I take it all with a grain of salt.