O brain,
Ive done some good things too,
Can’t we just dwell on those instead
For a while?
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That’s probably close to the top of the most difficult things for me to deal with in my illness. I always seem to be thinking of the negative.
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A couple days ago I started singing in the shower, this has not happened because of non-stop intrusive thoughts for the past 3 years. I took a moment to appreciate it and felt a little happy becomes it seems I am getting better… Do not want to jinx it.
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I understand that. I spent the better part of three years ruminating on my worst moments and decisions. This was fueled in part because I often thought I was in Purgatory and that seemed like a fitting thing to do…
One bit of advice is to keep challenging those ideas, force yourself to at least briefly remember the good and find someone to talk it through.
Better times will arrive.
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I’ve been coming around to these poems more and more since last month. I get a kick out of them now.
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