the symptoms i had was i was always irritated and angry, would be verbally abusive and physically abusive to my parents, always suspicious and doubting about everyone and everything.
sit in one corner of a room, not go out, not talk to anyone, would harm myself at times nothing serious but some small harming.
I was the same with my family, violent verbally and physically. I was suicidal too. I think suspicion and paranoia made me like that and angry. I broke walls, glass and mirrors in my house when unmedicated. Meds calm me by reducing my anger significantly.
now i dont het angry or violent physically or verbally
i have calmed down and i am very silent.
its just this brain thing where i cant think and am unproductive is all that remains.
my brain feels as if its heavy.
this i want to get rid of then i will be cool like normal again.
Ive often felt my brain is bad and it has been, but things can get better. Dont give up. But, i do think we need much more than meds to get better. Possibly new ways of thinking can help.