Well man. I feel like I’m going to come out on top of it. Weathered a lot of real life stuff while also dealing with psychosis. Know a lot about their interrelations. Sleep is key. Dealing with women is a big ringer for me. I take interest, they take interest, I get invested, they lose interest, I lose my mind for a little while. That ain’t nothing though aside from a reflection of my stupidity/desperation. Spent years alone after years of being with someone. I try not to think about how much better it is to have someone to be alone, but when I see the potential those thoughts come back, leaving me wanting to accelerate things which just gets in the way. That’s a different issue though.
But uh yeah. Psychosis persists in some cases just because people believe it to be real. It’s hard on the subconscious level to rationalize that there was no point or validity to the suffering. My psychosis is ongoing, but in my normal moments now I start to see the world for what it is and it’s almost scary. I’ve gotten pretty damn good at playing this telepathy game. Pretty comfortable and at times almost in love with the idea that it’s real, regardless of how much suffering that means is in my future.
Still though my rational side has always known it’s probably not real. It’s childish to entertain beyond the scope of using it to refine myself. No judgement of others, clear focus and practical thinking, eliminate all of the excess ■■■■ that society puts on us. I’ve learned a lot through the self criticism of it.
My voices are running out of steam. They don’t know what to say. Largely because I’ve gotten over a lot of confusion this experience has put on me. I got over the rampant sexualization of everything. Every day I get closer to the state of mind that allows me to roam freely without the fear of harassment, but ultimately this ■■■■ is going to persist if I keep it in my focus like its a real thing.
It’s weird though reverting back to a normal life. When I hear people talk I expect to hear two statements. It’s helps me pay attention almost.
When I listen to someone else’s conversation, again I hear two conversations. Kind of keeps me locked on to it which is unnecessary but it makes me feel like I’m important somehow that they have targeted me for analysis or whatnot. Which is also stupid and childish to believe.
If you really want to get over this illness you’ve got to do your homework. You’ve got to do a lot of soul searching. You’ve got to do a lot of meditative work. You’ve got to be fearless in accepting yourself and your past, while also not losing sight of your desires and potentials.
This site is a great place because their are so many of us.
I like Eleanor longdens story. It’s sort of antimed which I wouldn’t recommend for everyone and in some cases that are particularly dangerous meds are a must, but in rational docile people with hallucinations… They might have more success with therapy. My point though, she went to school for psychology and it took her a decade but she graduated with highest degree in psychology her school had ever given and she overcame her illness. Now that’s a pretty rare thing for someone to do, but it does happen.
I take my zyprexa on nights I can’t sleep, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be on meds that ■■■■ up my hormones and drain my finances for the rest of my life. I’m doing better than ever since the original onset of the illness.
I was just reviewing my recent tactics about an hour ago as I had slipped into just rolling with it. They are as follows:
The blank state: this one is tricky at first. Took me months to make it natural. Is mainly for those who have intrusive thoughts or bad logic in their brains that makes them say things they regret. This one is big for the thought broadcasting delusions. It allows you to feel more comfortable around people instead of being some see through schmuck. Works with feelings as well. Just like with classic meditation start out with deep consistent breaths. Try to eliminate any words behind control your breathing. When you can just slip into it and ‘become your breath’ or make it the dominant action of your mind. That’s it. You’re blank stating. Eventually you don’t even need to manually control tre breath you can just blank out. Do this in the face of your triggers and eventually your mind loses sight that they were ever triggers in the first place.
Hand in hand with that. Claim sovereignty over your minds language. Learn to willfully forget the words you don’t like to hear or use. Namely labels. Their are a lot of bad labels out there for people to either use on themselves or on others. The world would be a better place if these words that divide us were forgotten. Be a part of that trend. Everyone is different, you don’t have to try and figure anyone else out. Focus on yourself, and not how you fit in socially, but how to improve your run time.
Eliminate self talk. Affirmations are nice. Learned optimism is good as well, but we all have doubt at times. Being overtly or even falsely positive can set you up for a crash. No self talk. It’s stupid. If you want to think about yourself just try and remember the good moments or things you hope to do in your future.
Here is toughest challenge with as though. Delusions. Frankly normies are highly delusional, the culture supports a lot of ■■■■■■■■ that ends up tormenting sz folk. There are no aliens, there are no ghosts, I’d go as far to say there is no God, but that’s a touchy subject. Other delusions of being monitored and stuff like that, ■■■■■■■■ 99.9% of the time. Don’t buy into it. Telepathy ain’t real either but in my experience very few normies will through out the idea entirely. People love mystery and surreal ■■■■■■■■. If you want to get back to being a functional member of society you gotta throw out all the preoccupation with those things. Learn how to focus on the task at hand and how to manage your life regardless of what your hallucinations/mind try to throw at you.
Taking pills… On one hand they provide comfort and stability. On the other hand they are a reminder that you have an illness which reinforces the persistency.
Don’t do any street drugs. If Pandora’s box has been opened once, even if you manage to close it, you never know what the ■■■■ might happen.
There is more but it’s kind of escaping me.
This is more just an example of my box of tools when dealing with this illness. People need to see they have to develop this for themselves, they’ve got to craft their approach to live with this. No one can see what’s going on in your head. People can help, but only you know the extent of what’s going on.
One more. I found that if I don’t plan on talking about things my mind becomes less inclined to focus on them. I’ve always been a very open person so it’s my inclination to figure out how to explain everything to someone else. It’s not necessary unless you’re talking to a professional and they should know what to ask if they are any good. If it comes up in conversation all you have to do is say the name of the illness, most folks wouldn’t understand anything beyond that anyway.
Good luck folks.