Here’s one of my “pet peeves” (something that really bothers me every single time)
People who say they’re depressed “about something”. In my experience, and I believe this to be generally true, depression is a deep feeling of sorrow and hopelessness regardless of actual circumstances. For instance, I moved into a nice house and married the love of my life, and yet felt sad and hopeless about the future. That’s depression.
When bad things happen, or you’re worried, stressed, full of anxiety… then you feel sad, worried, anxious, etc., not depressed. Having a natural emotional response to something is not the same as having a chronic condition.
Am I wrong? Someone set me straight if I am.
There are different types of depression. Situational depression, clinical depression or major depressive episodes. I’m sure there’s more like dysthymia and others. People don’t seem to understand when we say we’re depressed we mean we literally cannot get out of bed. I try to set people straight but they just don’t get it. Maybe it’s your pet peeve so you can work to set them straight.
Thanks, @tera. There are different types, so maybe I’m too closed minded about it.
But, I do think people label what they’re feeling wrongly sometimes. I think it bothers me because putting the wrong label on what you’re experiencing leads you to deal with it improperly. People who say they’re depressed, when they’re really something else, might think of themselves as a depressed person when really they’re just reasonably sad about something.
Depression is a real problem. It can affect ones life in a negative way and irrationally drive a person to self-destruction, etc. It’s not an emotion, it’s a condition.
Even when my mom passed-away, I wasn’t depressed. I was devastated, sad, grieving… and those were natural emotional responses that my psyche used to cope with the situation.
Anyway, other people can say they’re depressed. I can’t stop them. But they’re often wrong.
you’re right! I know you’re right, it bothers me too, but because it seems to minimize what I go through with major depressive episodes. People be like, just get out of bed and take a shower and go for a walk or something, I be like are you ■■■■■■■ nuts!
Yes. I do think that’s it. I think, “No, you’re sad (to the person on Facebook), but you have no idea what actual depression feels like.” It’s paralyzing.
Thanks, @tera.
Not everyone who has the diagnosis depression is unable to get out of bed. I know someone who have severe depression as a diagnosis, who still are able to take care of themselves and form relationships as such, as long as they give themselves time every once in a while to be alone and cry it out. They still want to blow their brains out had they had the chance, but they make it work.
You guys shouldn’t judge people based on how they seem to be feeling. What seems minor to you might feel major to them.
like I said there are different types of depression. I judge based on the evidence at hand. Suicidality does not necessarily mean major depressive diagnosis or preclude situational depression.
I hate it when people say they are depressed and go about their normal lives, I feel like they don’t understand what depression truly is. I think what you’re saying is that I’m the one who doesn’t understand but I’ve been through all the different types of depression and I think I have good insight into the problem. I’m sorry for anybody’s suffering though. No matter if it’s like mine or not.
I’m not saying you don’t understand depression, I’m just saying you should be careful when it comes to thinking that because you know how depression works for you, you know how it works for others.
Same goes for OP.
I can understand it’s annoying to have one’s diagnosis made into something not serious, trust me, I get that.
But no matter how much we think we know, we can’t read other people’s minds.
Like, I get that it’s annoying if someone is “depressed” over the latest episode of the Kardashians, for an instance, but if someone is saying they’re depressed (over something more serious, lol) and they don’t seem depressed, they can still be. Things like this is different for everyone, and people are very good at putting on masks.
I think it’s important to remember that the worst thing in someone’s life, even if it might not seem that bad to you, is still the worst feeling they’ve ever had. Depression comes in all shapes and sizes, and being depressed for a week over a bad breakup isn’t the same as having clinical depression, but it is still an awful feeling. When you’re in the middle of that feeling, you don’t stop to think, “hey, I felt pretty good yesterday, and I’ll probably feel better tomorrow.” They just know they feel the worst they ever have.
That said, there are also people who use “I’m so depressed” as a joke for like, when they’re favorite show gets cancelled or their favorite store is closed. Those people absolutely should be corrected.
I have gotten out of bed every day so far, but have suffered chronic depression for over three decades. You’re right about that. But it has been debilitating in other ways.
My distinction is between feeling sad and actually having depression.
My point was that people use the word depressed in place of sad, and I believe there’s a distinction. I felt sad when my mom passed away. I felt hugely sad. On the other hand I also struggled with depression, which was not in relation to any event. I have struggled with depression during good times and bad.
So, my only point was that depression is not situational, and is not an emotion but rather a condition. That’s all.
I recognize that others may have a different viewpoint and I welcomed that when I asked to be set straight. But let’s not get preachy.
You have valid points, @Berru. I think everyone had valid points. It’s just something I brought up with no real aim at a solution. It will always bother me.
When I was Dx’d with “Major Depression,” my (ex) husband said to me in front of his family, "your Pdoc is clueless. What do you have to be depressed about? You have everything anyone could want. You have a roof over your head, something to eat, clothes on your back, and you get disability-you don’t even have to work, and…you have ME to take care of you."
You have NO reason to be depressed!
Yet, there I was, 25 years in that marriage,
depressed.
Majorly Depressed.
Still struggle with it a lot today, even though I traded up for a new man that is a major improvement over the last model, I still have to fight off these bouts of being depressed.
They seem to be intrinsic, and a part of my being I just can’t shake, no matter what my environment.
