I’m introverted and have been a loner all my life. My case manager says I’m too isolated and need to get out more. It wouldn’t hurt if I make some friends. My only thoughts on that were it would be nice to have someone else to phone on the weekends when I’m alone. Right now, my sister is the only person I call. I don’t have any friends and the only family I have here in Arkansas is a cousin 30 minutes away whom I don’t have anything to do with, and a mother in a nursing home 45 minutes away. My sister is in Maryland, married, and has two kids.
I’m really a social klutz, and my pdoc says I’m amotivational. Are any of you going thru this and any advice on how to make friends?
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You could check out this thread
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My case manager said this to me too. I strongly believe that’s outside her job description. I socialize on the internet, and that’s good enough. If she doesn’t think it counts, well, too bad - I was born in 1988 and grew up with the internet.
Online interactions count as socialization & friendship too, regardless of what any old foagie thinks (she’s 40, my psychotherapist is 60+ and thinks e-conversating doesn’t count either; these fellas are not up to par in the digital age).
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I have no friends. I have no idea how to be proactive in making friends. A platonic friend would be nice. Someone who accepted me, warts and all. Someone who’ll not be put off by my sexual ineptitude.
I feel uneasy if people get too close to me. That in getting to really know me they’ll eventually go off me and reject me.
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I was born in 1959 and remember when there were no pc’s, calculators, but we did have b&w tv. There was the Kolmen Race for the Cure this morning and the streets in downtown where I live were closed down for the race to raise money for breast cancer. I managed to walk to the downtown library and use the computer there to post this topic.@everhopeful is really don’t know what else to do either. The race is over and I could drive the car to the branch library I prefer. That Main library downtown is too busy for me. Thanks for the replies. At least this forum got me out of the apartment today.
Hey @mike1 firstly well done for getting the get up and go to post on this forum. I hope it helps.
My pdoc also pushed me to go out more. I have a bus pass which I use to go into my nearest city. I don’t really speak to people much - apart from the barista- but it has helped me in just getting out the flat. Was pretty hard at first but now I look forward to it.
I live in a little village with only one pub. I go there sometimes (only when it’s quiet). I have made a few “pub friends” - locals who go in the same time as me. One of the bar staff speaks to me and he doesn’t mind if I nurse a Diet Coke for two hours!
Are there any support groups where you live? Or outdoors groups like the ramblers? I feel for you - it’s very hard to get out when you have this illness.
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My parents will be dead by the time I’m 40.
Thanks for the encouraging reply. I looked ramblers up on the internet, and we don’t have anything that I’m aware of like that here in the US. It sounds like you are pretty isolated too. I go to day treatment at Gain, Greater Assistance for those In Need. They are a charitable, not-for-profit organization which provides treatment for severe and persistent mental illness. I again today walked to the downtown library to use the computer, but I can use one in the activities center at Gain tomorrow. I go to 3 group therapies each week though I rarely see my pdoc. He just keeps the prescriptions filled, and I pick up my medicine at Gain on Mondays. I really don’t say much at Gain, though. @Jimbob
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@Daimon Did your parents have you late in life? My mother was 22 and my father was 24 when I was born.
Have you been to your high school reunion.
Me too, my friend; my pdoctor told me that I should make friends; however, in my case, it has not been so easy; I am shy so I find very difficult to make friends.
However, I try to do some things with success; for instance, I say hello or hi to my neighbours (with a smile) when I come across; the outcome has been that they take a different attitude towars me; I can see their smile. (I am not sure but in my country is a type of socializing).
Secondly, I try to talk with people that I see daily (For example: salesman, shop assistant, barber, etc). From my experience, this exercise take 1 minute because it is hard to me.
Other aspect that I think it is important: people usually like that you show an interest in their lives (hobbys, favourite sport or job).
I hope that these points will be useful for you my friend.
Tolteca.
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i am married…but have never had a friend apart from that.
try a book club 
tennis club
take up golf
rambling club 
etc
i talked to a person for about 6 months when i was 17 …but i would not call that a friend !?!
maybe that was !?!.. 
to be honest i can’t keep it together for more than a few hours…i get bored easy.
humans are stupid…generally.
take care 
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My case manager thinks I should make some friends
The old therapist;s question - What do you think?
I feel better after talking briefly to people, but the whole process fragments and disintegrates me. I takes a long, long time to get put back together to the degree that I was before I talked.
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Volunteer work. And it doesn’t have to be ‘work’. Lots of seniors in lodges, etc., who just need someone to play cards with and tell stories to. You’ll learn cool things and meet great people while doing it. 
Pixel.
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You could have your case manager set you up with some other people who want to socialize.
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I recently moved into a place where other people live. I do such things - just a word or two or a smile in passing.
I’ve tried asking people questions about themselves. One thing about it is that I’ve learned that I need to be prepared to answer the same questions about myself. Also I’m not always up to responding to an answer of importance to them, like the death of a spouse, etc.
I’m socially active enough doing these things that my mind doesn’t go back to primitive, scary spaces. I hope the other person isn’t traumatized too much.
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Hey I live in Arkansas and am looking for friends too… It’s kinda hard when you work nights though.
It doesn’t take a mental health “professional” to figure out if you have no friends you might want to get some. If you’re going for someone to talk to on the phone, make friends with someone online and swap phone numbers. That should be easily achieved.
I personally have no offline friends. In person I only have family to mingle with, which is not something I enjoy.
I’m kind of fed up with the world and have given up on making friends with normal folk. Me and normal folk have nothing in common. There is no pull between us. The older I get the bigger the disconnect is between me and the normal folk. But perhaps I’ve been brainwashed in one way or another of how the normal people actually are. But I don’t know, the ones i know are assholes, and the ones online act like animals. They kind of disturb me how instinctual/programmed and blind they are. It is like being in the zoo, and at least online there is a fence.
But hey, I haven’t slept and had coffee this morning, so I apologize for being nasty.
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