Just realized this forum doesnt want me here. goodbye

DX'd - Other
1

“mcxmac said:
Its called depressive realism. And it cannot be talked about enough. Don’t sweep our thoughts up and throw them out. We need the connection and we need to be on this level together. It’s not depressing. This is reality.”

"Malvok said:
No, it’s not reality. It’s people feeding each others delusions. If your thoughts are not reality based then they do need to be swept up and thrown out.

There should be zero unhealthy enabling here. It’s time to call people out when they are being bizarre and delusional. The time for hand holding and patting each other on the back is over."

Well I don’t see a future where I get any help from these forums. (with the exception of a few, u know who you are) If someone told me I was being delusional and bizzare when I was in an episode I would snowball myself into the hospital, alienate isolate become suicidal trust no one. Some people on here help, agree and we talk through certain thoughts and perceptions. But if this is what this site is really about, where “hand holding and patting eachother on the back is over” and other such ignorant (in my opinion) phrases. Well, goodbye. And that sucks because I thought I finally found a place of acceptance where other people realized we are all experiencing our own perception of reality and that reality is not some solid concrete thing. I could go on a rant and explain how reality is perceived differently by each of us but what the f is the point? I’m living in a delusion! Not your reality! So if you want to talk to me, message me. But what is the point of posting if all I get back is ‘you’re crazy that ain’t real, take medication’. Seriously folks? Damn and I thought I found my home base.
Goodbye

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Im just gonna reply to this post’s topic and not read it, because this is a safe haven for anyone who lives with schizophrenia. We all have it and we all are here for support. You shouldn’t leave.

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I don’t want to but I’m getting mixed messages from certain individuals and it feels like my thoughts are just crazy delusions and need to be thrown away and I need to take more meds. Sad and frustrated. Is there a smiley for that?

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I don’t recall anybody singling you out. If you like it here, stay. If not, bon voyage. If you don’t agree with what someone says, that’s fine, it’s freedom of speech. Try not to internalize everything.

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So when people agree with something that I strongly disagree with…I just ignore it and let them have their thoughts? Really hard for me to let things go since my mother passed …they fester and cause emotions. Do I just skim over it and say well that sucks, next

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@mcxmac You are welcome here. Try not to let all this get you down. Just breathe and let it go. big hugs

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Not letting things go due to the death of a loved one sounds like an issue for a therapist. For some schizophrenics, a therapist can be helpful. Chill. Relax. Sometimes it helps to stay off these forums for a few days or a week to try to get your bearings.

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I do a lot of ignoring on this site. If I don’t want to hear about voices or government paranoia, I just don’t read it. And if I do decide to read it, I have the respect for others’ beliefs to not say anything offensive.

You can enjoy the forum AND keep your point of view. That’s what’s so great about this place!

Blessings,

Anthony

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@alien99
I’ve had a therapist for about five years. They can ‘help’ but letting things go is something no one can teach. It sucks real bad.
@radmedtech
Thanks that brings perspective. Guess I can cherry pick

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Mcxmac,

Its normal for people to disagree - you aren’t going to find any forum in the world where everyone agrees on everything. And - I would argue that you would never want such a forum because you would never learn anything. Its only through disagreement and exploration of other’s viewpoints that we learn and grow.

I encourage you to stay and don’t get too hung up on opposing points of view, but do consider them and discuss them.

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Oh the drama!

Maybe you are in need of the shelter of a psychiatric facility if some stranger on a forum suggesting a thought is delusional causes you to become suicidal.

I speak only for myself, but I’m not here to enable your delusions. I’m not here to hold your hand and say that, yes, the aliens are real, or that you’re a shaman connected to the spirit world, or that your parents were cloned and need to die.

Screw that.

You’re not at an alien abduction site, nor a shamanism site, nor a religious site. This is a site for schizophrenics. For people who acknowledge that they suffer from this illness and who want to get better. For people who realize that their thoughts are not always realistic and that it is the illness that makes them think these unrealistic ideas.

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Malvok,

While I don’t disagree with the content of your message and I know everyone here wants to be helpful.

I think that it would be great if everyone here could try to be helpful way to phrase their help and to not be judgemental or “rough” on people here who are (we think) having delusions. We all know from our own experiences that telling someone that their thoughts are irrational or inaccurate isn’t going to talk them into having new and healthier thoughts. This is one thing all the psychiatrists, psychologists and researchers I talk to say is “don’t try to talk the people out of their unusual beliefs - it just breeds resentment and distance between you and the other person”.

I think everyone here can relate to people who have had delusions - everyone has thoughts that are inaccurate and distorted sometimes.

Here are some tips that the research suggests might be the best way to handle people in these situations:

You should be understand that people developing a psychotic disorder will often not reach out for help. If the first aider is concerned about someone, they should approach the person in a caring and nonjudgmental manner to discuss their concerns.

As far as possible, you should let the person set the pace and style of the interaction.

You should recognize that the person may be frightened by their thoughts and feelings.

You should ask the person about what will help them to feel safe and in control.

You should reassure the person that she/he is there to help the person and wants to keep them safe.

You should let the person know that she/he is there to support them.

You should allow the person to stay in control by offering choices of how she/he can help them where possible.

You should convey a message of hope to the person by assuring them that help is available and things can get better.

How the first aider can be supportive

You should always treat the person with respect.

You should try to empathize with how the person feels about their beliefs and experiences, without stating any judgments about the content of those beliefs and experiences.

You should understand that the person may be behaving and talking differently due to psychotic symptoms.

You should recognize that the person who may be experiencing psychosis may find it difficult to tell what is real from what is not real.

You should avoid confronting the person and should not criticize or blame them.

You should understand the symptoms for what they are and should try not to take them personally.

You should not use sarcasm when interacting with a person who may be experiencing psychosis.

You should avoid using patronizing statements when interacting with a person who may be experiencing psychosis.

How the first aider should deal with delusions (false beliefs) and hallucinations (perceiving things that are not real)

You should recognize that the delusions and/or hallucinations are very real to the person.

You should not dismiss, minimize, or argue with the person about their delusions and/or hallucinations.

You should not act alarmed, horrified, or embarrassed by the person’s hallucinations or delusions.

You should not laugh at the person’s symptoms of psychosis.

If the person exhibits paranoid behavior, the first aider should not encourage or inflame the person’s paranoia.

Whether the first aider should encourage the person to seek professional help

You should ask the person if they have felt this way before, and if so, what they have done in the past that has been helpful.

You should try to find out what type of assistance the person believes will help them.

You should try to determine whether the person has a supportive social network and if they do, the first aider should encourage them to utilize these supports.

If the person decides to seek professional help, you should make sure that the person is supported both emotionally and practically in accessing services.

If either the person experiencing psychosis or the first aider lacks confidence in the medical advice they have received, they should seek a second opinion from another medical or mental health professional.
From here:

http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/005561.html

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I disagree with Malvok. We’re all on our own journeys here, and I believe you should feel safe to express yourself. This is not a forum of perfect people. We (except for family members) all admit that we have some form of schizophrenia. Just ignore the haters. Listen to the people who support you, mcxmac. I’ve found lots of support here, and I still have some symptoms.

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Those ideas sound great for confronting someone in the throws of psychosis but there are degrees of illness. A person who is in the throws of psychosis believes their delusion 100% and cannot be reasoned with. But are people who come here really that deep into their delusions?

The very fact that a person is here means that somewhere in their mind they think they might have schizophrenia, that somehow their thoughts might be caused by their illness. They are looking for help. I think it is important to touch on that part.

If we agree with people about aliens, etc. what help are we giving them?

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If that were true then there would be no debate.

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I don’t think anybody is saying “agree” with the delusion. What they are saying is it is probably most helpful if you focus on empathizing with the person, and trying to guide them to help a little more gently. If someone is harsh or judgemental to you it tends to cut off communication - whereas if you keep people engaged and working towards reducing the symptoms/issues - that will probably be more helpful.

You may remember your own times when you participated in these forums when you were not so healthy - and people just telling you that you’re delusional didn’t seem to help (correct me if I’m wrong here).

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I read people’s “delusions” and admire with fascination how some people can take a tolerant and amused attitude to their own wayward thoughts. I can see that to other people, what they are thinking is a matter of life or death to them. I think it’s important to see what people experience and where it leads them and to compare the experiences and histories of people who are trying different approaches. Therefore I would be very wary about the impulse to chase anyone away with enforced reality testing.

I see some “unhealthy enabling” myself. I just note it and move on. However I’m glad that somebody brought up the subject because I think it needs to be recognized as a genuine phenomena in any media.

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I don’t mean that people should jump on others but just that we need to stop enabling people and agreeing with them.

A velvet glove, calm assurances, these things are great. I’m a bit rough and abrasive. I need to work on that.

I don’t mean so much that we must be aggressive as we must not indulge their delusions. If there is any question that telling people like it is doesn’t help, there surely is no question that reinforcing a delusion isn’t helpful.

As for my own experiences, I can’t say that I’d enjoy being told I was delusional, but I certainly appreciate the efforts people have gone though to try and help me by telling me the truth.

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So you don’t have schizophrenia, then? You’re just a troll?

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Not me, geez. Look at the threads about this subject. You’ll see people who say they’re not schizophrenic.