Iāll put my two cents in.
I was put in my first psyche ward in 1980 when I was 19. I quickly turned psychotic and thatās when the suffering started, I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. After an excruciating mental hell for two weeks, my parents found a world famous house for schizophrenics and I moved in.
This place was founded on the premise that schizophrenics in psychosis can recover without medication or hospitals if you place them in a house in a neighborhood community with 6 or 7 counselors who had no experience in the mental health field but they were just hired because they were friendly, tolerant, and understanding. There were few rules and you could come and go as you please and you could act as bizarre as you wanted but violence was not tolerated.
The founders claimed a recovery rate of greater than people who were treated with medication or who were in hospitals. it was an interesting idea but it failed for me so I spent a year in psychosis without medication, doctors or therapists. It was hell for every minute of every day for a year. Itās hard to put into words the torture I wernt through psychologically. I barely survived, I donāt know how my brain could take so such tremendous stress and torture and survive. Iāve never heard voice but I had many delusions. Interesting enough, I never had the classic delusions that many schizophrenics suffer from about religion, or the CIA or FBI, or implanted chips, or being spied upon, or aliens etc. I never had any of those. I was paranoid for sure and I had bizarre thoughts and perceptions, but I looked and acted so normal on the outside that I could freely go almost anywhere I wanted with out anybody having a clue that I was an insane paranoid schizophrenic.
In fact, a week after I got out of the hospital I walked up and down the bust streets of the large city I was in and I put in a dozen applications for jobs in the stores and businesses. I got two job offers and I chose a doughnut shop. I did this without telling my parents or the staff at my new digs. When my parents found this out they literally both laughed at my job ethic that they had installed in me. But they told me, āNick, you donāt have to work, just concentrate on taking it easy and getting betterā. So I spent a year there.
I was 19 and I had no job, no car, no friends, no sanity, no schooling, no girlfriend, no money, no independence. I got kicked out after a misunderstanding. My next move was directly into a locked psychiatric hospital. By the way, the first house did nothing for me except make me worse. I moved into the hospital and then the real suffering started.
I didnāt thing I could get much worse but I was wrong. But at least I was finally put on medication which didnāt help me get better but it stopped me from getting much worse. i have a million stories about the 8 months I lived there. I could tell you about the violence, the sex, the bizarrely tragic behaviour, the laughter but I wonāt list any except to say that I saw and some pretty scary bizarre stuff there. Iāll cut this short.
Obviously, while I was hospitalized I still didnāt have a car or friends or anything else. But I somehow survived that place too.
I got out and moved into a nice group home. I started getting a little relief from my hell in small increments. The popular word that the doctors used in the eighties was āstableā. It meant becoming less psychotic, more level headed, less drastic ups and downs and more functional Well, I joined a vocational program and after 9 months I got a job. I stayed there four years. I was the most psychotic unhinged employee you would ever see, lol. But no one could tell, lol!!! Unfortunately my recovery got side tracked for four years with a bad crack addiction which I later conquered when I was 30 years old.
Well, things started slowly happening for me. I had my job, I got a car, I had a nice house with two other schizophrenics, I made a couple of friends, I started going to clubs and out to eat. I was living near what society wanted. To make a long story short, Iām 55 years old now. I am looking back at being employed for almost 33 years at various jobs. I have owned a driven my own cars since 1997. I enrolled myself in colleges and I need only four more classes for my degree.
I have lived outside the mental health system independently from 1995 until a year age. I have flown across the country several times since I was diagnosed. I was best man at my dads wedding. I have been to some top name rock concerts in my disease. Iāve been white water rafting, camping, jet skiing, water-skiing, hiking, the beach. Comedy clubs, bars, parties, picnics. Iāve been to over a thousand AA, CA, and NA, meetings. Iāve dated a little ( not much but I havenāt given up). Anyway, I hope this is the kind of story youāre asking for. I came from the darkest depths of mental illness when I was young to living a full life in many ways.
How did I do it? Lots of help, lots of luck, medication and lots of hard work. Life is extremely rough for me right now but I am happier now than I have been in 35 years. I like myself. I like other people. I like making people laugh. I like talking to people and taking walks and having dinner at my sisters every week. I like relaxing. I signed up for my next college class. Iāll see how that goes. I am losing some weight that was bothering me. People like me for the first time in my life.
I hope this helped . Good luck.
