Im barely capable of doing anything. I don’t think i can even hold down a job cause i might get fired. Im tired of people like my parents thinking i have so much “potential”. If i had so much potential i would have still been in school like a good boy. Im just a dumb ■■■■ up. ■■■■ anyone that thinks im capable.
1 Like
You’ve got to go at your own pace, don’t let people put pressure on you. Then surely and bit by bit you’ll see things getting better .
I’ve only been stable about 3 years, and already I’m more optimistic about the future. But during those 3 years, I had some really pessimistic times.
The longer you stay on meds and the longer you’re stable, the better you can get. So, you do have potential.
7 Likes
Same here. My first go round at school, I dropped out (before they could kick me out) with a 1.15 cumulative GPA. I was absolutely not well enough to be there. This time, I have a 3.75.
What you’re capable of now is no indication of what you’ll be able to do once you’re stable. You’ve got to give yourself time to heal, though. That’s your first priority.
5 Likes
Rhubot that’s you
Wondered about the Ginseng pic
Funny
My fave is John Roberts
1 Like
My favorite of all time is William Brennan. I like how fierce RBG is, though.
1 Like
What cases?
Affirmative action
Roe v. Wade
Thanks that really helped. Especially how chaotic my life has been lately and also thanks @Rhubot and @Daze
3 Likes
Which cases for Brennan or for Ginsburg? Ginsburg, I really liked her dissent in Gonzales v. Carhart, which was a terrible, ugly case that she wrestled with honestly and unflinchingly. Also United States v. Virginia.
Brennan, there are too many to count. I don’t even know where to start with him. Baker v. Carr was a great one. Texas v. Johnson was another. I have a lot of admiration for his defense of the most powerless members of society, for his defense of the First Amendment and his staunch opposition to the death penalty.
1 Like
Carhart was about late term abortion (which we can’t debate here), and Virginia was about allowing women into military schools.
Baker v. Carr was an equal protection case about making sure congressional districts have basically even populations. Texas v. Johnson was a First Amendment case about flag burning.
Ok thanks.
Sorry to derail the thread
Not about equality anymore
in our country
Strange twist of time
Bernie was man/woman identity
It’s not needed anymore
1 Like
Maybe you should start to think about where you want to be in ten years. You don’t want to end up old and with nothing to show for your life.
1 Like
My life is based on potential. When I was young, I was like you. When I was 22 years old I had just gotten out of a locked psychiatric hospital after 8 months. I had no plans or dreams, I was just floundering along minding my own business. They put me in a day/ vocational program with 10 or 11 other people to keep us busy.
I rarely talked to anybody and I did what I was told. I was still very mentally ill and I had no plans and not much going for me. But after 8 months in the program the counselors put me in charge of our small landscaping crew. A little while later they put me in charge of the beat up old cash register to collect money for the snacks we sold in our own little house. I did both of those things successfully.
Then out of the blue a counselor took me aside and said out of the ten people, they wanted to offer me a position as a groundskeeper of the building. Everybody else was under the counselors supervision but as grounds keeper, I worked alone and at my own pace. None of these positions were planned or I didn’t ask for them. But next was catching the bus to the agencies corporate office once a week to do simple, basic, very light janitorial work.
Then finally, the whole staff hooked me up to work a job as a handyman at a small business owned by a husband and wife. They had an arrangement with the the program I was in so they knew I was mentally ill. The job was supposed to be for 3 months only and than someone else from the program would get to work there for three months and so on. Well my boss liked me so much that he kept me on for four years. My point is that I would never dreamed of doing any of those things on my own. But the counselors saw something in me that I did not see in myself.and that thing was potential. At the time, I didn’t feel like anything special. In fact I thought everyone around me was better off than me and higher functioning than me. I was pretty sick. Sometimes other people can see potential in us that we can’t see in ourselves.
3 Likes
it can take years to see progress, but like when you are a teenager and things are rough…
The incapacity can slowly lessen…
It’s not even noticeable month to month, but have a real recovery now 10 years later.
I’ve spent over a year in acute psych wards and now i run a small theatre company.
for many years of my life the most i could manage was working for 3h once or twice a week… charity shops, tree planting, beach cleaning park maintenance etc.
That is the norm for schizophrenia,
I feel i am risking another breakdown with the constant stress in the last year.
I don’t know what i’m trying to say - in a way - anything is possible if you keep going…
but that sounds up my ars*
I don’t know what i am capable of …!!! i am not feeling well these days…!!
My experience seemed to be different. I tried working for ten years after the reality of Szabo set in. I was ambitious and tried to rise to higher positions at a supermarket I worked at for seven years. I’ve been to college with one or two professional ambitions. With school I might do we’ll for one semester, and the next semester most of my classes would read incomplete. I did not give up. It still went on like that. I’ve gained some practical education along the way. Sometimes I would do the job I went to school for we’ll, and sometimes, Mabry the next week after a week of doing we’ll, my performance was not good enough to keep the job. The supermarket I worked for while trying to go to school was the same. If it was not for there ties into helping in the disabled community I would have lost the job in the first month. It was a brutal experience of seven years of anxiety when I would show up at work. Customers assumed a lot of times that I was autistic,or retarded. Those experiences help to feed my insecurities about securing New work now. So, it seems that we have had two opposite experiences. Yours fed your confidence, and mine diminished it. Do you have any advice on this matter. Thanks
nick77 the below entry into this thread was a question I meant as a reply to this. Respond if you get a chance. Thanks
many people think the schizophrenic has to stay employed
and I feel that way too from what I’ve seen improve in me
but so many times we are forced out for one reason or another
I hate stopped and starting jobs
and right now after so long its hard to get back on my feet
my mom used to think that I had a lot of potential. it put a lot of pressure on me. but she thought I had potential to do things that she wanted me to do; so when it came to pursuing my passion, she didn’t care.
Also, being a tall dude gives everyone an excuse to expect things from me. I was in a hospital once, and I had a very violent roommate. at some point, I was trying to sleep outside my room, and a male nurse said that I should be able to handle the roommate because I’m a grown man.
every man is different. so if people make assumptions, then that’s on them especially when those same assumptions are proven wrong in their unfortunate situations. 
1 Like
Every job is different. Different environments, different co-workers, different atmosphere’s, right? I’ve had about 30 jobs since I was 17. (i was diagnosed at age 19). Some jobs I shine and do great, other times I tank and get fired and leave after a week or two or even a day or two. I’ve been fired from jobs at least a dozen times.
Some jobs I’ve been at I was in over my head and I was the worst worker. Other jobs I just clicked and I shone and I was one of the top workers. Before I started any job I could never predict if I would do good or lousy. I should say here, that I have never had a professional position. All my jobs were entry level positions.
But money is money and I feel any job is respectable and I found many unskilled jobs rewarding. Unloading trucks at Sears I found very satisfying and not everyone can do that job. Washing dishes after the noon and dinner rush made me feel I accomplished a hurdle or challenge. Stocking shelves at Target on the graveyard shift put good food on the table, filled up my gas tank and added to my CD collection and bought me nice clothes.
I didn’t like all my jobs but even the jobs hated made me feel OK because I stuck it out. My theory is that for people who are on the fence or our low in confidence who think they might have a small chance at working just might stumble into their niche on a job and they might like their co-workers, the might find something that they can do and enjoy with a minimum of stress.
For people looking for an easy job I would just like to mention that no job is “easy”. Every job has its challenges. Some jobs are easier than others but as to “easy” jobs, There is no such animal. I don’t feel like I have a lot of confidence. When I apply for jobs, I count on that no one will hassle me too much, and I feel that as long as I am teachable and healthy than I feel I have a fighting chance to succeed. I never consider myself stupid so that helps me took. I am not the bravest person you’ll ever meet but I take calculated risks that give me a fighting chance at success. Every day is a new day; a new start, a fresh page to write your future on. One or two or even a dozen failures does not define you. I’ve gone from jobs where I was the best worker to my next job where I failed dismally and then my next two jobs I might not be the best, but I still succeed.
Failing at something does not mean a that the rest of your life will be a never ending series of failures. That’s faulty thinking. Things change, sometimes its one step up and two steps back. It sounds like you have tenacity and resilience in your character. That’s good, it should help you and give yourself credit for those two things. You might fail at your two jobs, But your third job you may excel. Who knows?
As Frank Sinatra said, “That’s life and I can’t deny it, some days I feel like checking out but my heart just ain’t going to buy it”. I’m at a crossroads in my own life. I’m 55 years old. I have had paranoid schizophrenia for 35 years. I feel sometimes that the first 55 years of my life was easy. NOW the hard part of my life has actually begun. We shall see. Anyways, I wish you luck and I hope you use your smarts in a productive, positive way. I hope you got something out of this and have a nice day.
2 Likes