My voices all had human names. I didn’t think much of it for the first few years, I was too tortured, too young, to schizophrenic, and in my particular case, too uneducated to be able to undertake any structured investigation and experiments to evaluate the veracity of this insight. Furthermore, this “insight” was provided to me by the AVH themselves. Then one day, they said to download and look at child exploitation material. I thought this was a disgusting and appalling thing to do. But given my torture for the previous few years, I very quickly thought that this was my big break, because when someone realised that they were looking at the images, they would get shot, literally. However, this is confused by the fact that I didn’t know they were images that they had uploaded, despite the fact they told me which images to delete, and which not to delete.
So many years passed, and after getting an education, and much experimentation, I realised something that I am unable to mention, because it will get this post moderated and made unavailable. After surviving for a very long time time, given the latest epidemiology indicating the life expectancy of someone who lives with the experience of hearing voices, which is part of an authoritative diagnosis of schizophrenia spectrum disorders, my AVH have made me aware that my life is soon to be over, as a result of this episode.
It inherently involves the medical assertion (hypothesis) of misattribution. I made the mistake of posting something on the What’s App NA group about “my voices claim I am a pedophile”, which not only got me banned from NA, but ‘confirmed’ to others that I am in fact a pedophile. The other surprising event(s) that transpired is that my VH/AVH informed me that they had been publishing blogs that suggested amongst other things, incinerating my car (and a reward for doing so), and ongoing claims that I am lost.
It turned out that the blogs etc were true. They went viral, especially in my local area. So I expect fatal repercussions from this. And I am hoping beyond my experience with posting on this forum, that this will not get moderated out, so that other schizophrenics follow the medical advice of never obeying command hallucinations. Do not think that you can out strategise them.
In conclusion, I deduced that AVH can see. Not through your own eyes, but in third person. I have been reading about “targeted individuals”, magnetic wave resonance thought control, and mind cinema / mind entertainment. This turned out to be more than credible. I came up with my own explanation that involved trauma, the human connectome, and wave particle duality. I have so much evidence that AVH/VH can see, it is ridiculous. But of course, professional mental health care workers, guided by psychiatrists (who have medical degrees first, can not and will not contemplate this, because we know so much abut human neurophysiology that none of this can be true.
And in expectation that this is too much for this forum to allow to get past moderation, I have kept a copy of this original text, and in the event that it does not get past moderation, I will edit it myself until I get it into a form with contents that are not too disturbing for other schizophrenics to be exposed to.