No you make awesome sense. I like the second to last paragraph. It doesn’t let me quote anymore I tried to quote that.
But I’ve had some crazy spiritual experiences. And traumas and stuff. Like I heard an owl in the woods in 2013 it changed my life. And when I was 19 I took a lot of lsd, and well I drank a lot too and stuff and it was bad. These kids invited themselves into my house and it’s hard to explain and I don’t know what was real and what was not. But I had become interested in the ego and enlightenment already and my friend called me on the phone after I was already losing my mind and said to me “your ego!!!” And I said “I know…”. But like then i became totally obsessed like brainwashed I had no ego but inside I built up anger which was where my ego went or something . But like you know, overtime now that I understand it all and am healthier it’s provided me with lots of enlightenment and stuff. It drove me crazy for a long time. Honestly don’t fully understand the effect this all had on me. I just know I’m better off for it. And I know now the worst delusion is to think I’m someone else other than myself. Ie Jesus Christ. Like I thought in the past, because Jesus has already been done. I sometimes think I have some purpose but so did a lot of people around in this day and age in positive and negative ways I think.
I really think sometimes I have a divine purpose because of the ego thing with my friend and other coincidences and stuff. The fact I survived it all But maybe I’m grandiose. I just know telling ppl that you’re Jesus is a horrible idea. And thinking it too
some of the best, kindest most understanding people have been through the most ■■■■.
it’s crazy to think of the trauma we’ve all been through,
and somehow come out kinder and more whole,
rather than broken and bitter.
i see what you mean.
that last sentence made me laugh pretty hard, i needed that (’:
People think you’re either off the wall crazy talking to walls or can work. If you can’t work, you’re deemed lazy or a loser. I can act and appear normal 99% of the time. If you actually talk to me and understand my delusions and thoughts you can see I have schizophrenia. Maybe its bipolar now or just an incompetent doctor trying to wean me off disability, I dont know. Sometimes, I think this stuff is real. I’m a chain smoker so I assume I’ll get cancer sooner or later. You can have both.
There’s a difference in cancers. Childhood cancer is the worst. Skin cancer can be treated effectively. Cancer can kill you. That’s probably the difference.
I know I tend to complain a lot mostly because I don’t handle pain too well. My aunt died of ovarian cancer and didn’t seem to complain much at all. I think society doesn’t like it if you can’t “put on a happy face” all the time.
I am also a bit temperamental at times and get irritated easily especially if I perceive being talked down to, corrected etc… as a group I think we are more sensitive to other people’s negative opinions of us and also often struggle to get humor on target and say awkward things in conversation. Norms like predictability or at least feel uncomfortable with information they can’t process.
Im sorry @Daze you have been called a bad mother and not to be trusted. These are real sensitive and painful things to hear.
Some people told me the same. One psychiatrist called child protection services on me after i left his office and told him i thought their “care” was bad. Him and the nurse wrote a nasty report about me saying stuff like even in good times i could only give my son basic care (food etc), while my parents were needed to give him love, i couldnt. They painted me as uncaring and hostile. They never even saw me with my son or asked about him! Luckily cps did their own research and concluded i was loving, i arranged things thoughtfully, my son was happy and the psych was a ■■■■■■■.
But I know how painful such accusations are, so i feel you. Dont believe all the bad stuff, you yourself and your children know what is real.
I’m sorry to hear you have been called a bad mom. As a mom to a disabled child and another mentally ill one, I know just how hard it is to parent while dealing with your own mental illness.
I don’t want sympathy from others, I just want the opportunity to compete with others. Give me that opening and I can push my way in and I have the skills and abilities to stay there.
Well partly because it is an “invisible” illness. The public doesn’t understand it and people tend to fear what they don’t know.
And the media makes us seem dangerous. Most people don’t understand we are more likely to self harm then be a danger to others.
I definitely don’t want sympathy for my illness but I utterly hate being blamed for being sick, ughh.
I wouldnt want sympathy in the sense of pity…“poor you”. Rather not!
But I want people to treat me in a just way. As a humanbeing. If someone gets cancer, nobody stops seeing them as human being. I like a normal, kind treatment.
sense. I like the second to last paragraph. It doesn’t let me quote anymore I tried to quote that.