What do you think is the maximum information that a schizophrenic can learn and know?
Does schizophrenic imply that someone is automatically a lazy fool to you? Does learning matter to you, and how has the rise of the internet changed your ability to learn as a schizophrenic?
Just so you know I don’t believe that schizophrenics are learning limited. In passionate learning on the internet’s free source of information, and if I am not learning on it, I’m becoming more and more schizophrenically nauseating to my own sense of normal self. It’s a feeling like being dignified or being undignified, so I lumber around on the internet endlessly learning and sharing to retain a tolerable state of existence. lol That would sound weird to everyone that is not schizophrenic, but that probably sounds right to other schizophrenics.
Basically what that means is that what I’m being aware of in my environment becomes redundant in my mind’s function properties. It’s like the same old same old. In fact doing the same thing, watching the same thing, or even rudimentary small chat which is repetitious all makes me uncomfortable. It’s something stupid to me to say concisely what it feels like as in a waste of my life. In order to make my mind’s functions tolerable I constantly change their values with new information, and it changes my mind’s views into fantastic views of concepts I never knew rather than idiotic insanity of things that are disturbing.
qua·li·a
ˈkwälēə/
nounPHILOSOPHY
the internal and subjective component of sense perceptions, arising from stimulation of the senses by phenomena.
A key to figuring out how to use my broken mind in practical way in order to survive ordinarily but most of all exist in a way I can tolerate in myself is honing into the function in it I mentioned above. I picture it like an algorithm that I can input new values into as I learn new information, and my mind complies the algorithm spitting out the paradigmatic view of the world of other people, things, and myself. If I let my mind play with itself like an otter addicted to juggling rocks on his chest, then it will constantly imagine things which do not matter and are not tolerable like an overheating engine running full throttle wasting itself out in an open field not in a vehicle pulling a load. This new information it creates as it runs loose constantly gets jumbled around like the juggling otter jumbles his rocks on his chest, and that newly imagined information loads the algorithms in my inner qualia, and outcomes a mortifying paradigm which is so bad that it would render me 100% useless to myself and everyone else. Understand that this information from my loose mind is just the schizophrenic stuff that we all experience. Well that’s no good. That’s the most toxic kind of information. In a way it is as though my mind creates toxic information thus poisoning my mind by its own volition creating a morbid paradigm.
I can’t let my mind run loose like that. I always have to be working on something or learning something new if not just thinking about things I haven’t thought about before, or “they” will over run me. But you can be sure they are right there all along, but as I dive into new information it appears that my mind sort of submerges under water where they are not in a separate mental world for moments at a time. If the work, study, or thinking I’m doing is interesting enough, I can stay under as long as it takes to follow all of the way through the process of the task, the study, or the concepts I’m processing. These are always my sweetest moments in the burdenous life of schizophrenia.
Philosophy is a phelia for wisdom or knowledge. So philosopher is a lover of knowledge and wisdom. That I’ve been ever since a teen before I became scz.
Even exploring new things such as the wilderness, riding four wheel ATV’s, driving speed boats, exploring new races and cultures etc etc etc load this “qualia function” in my mind with fresh, new information like loading values into an algorithm. I constantly have to learn new things like as though I constantly have to set back the clock before the clock counts down to 0:00. If I allow it to strike 0:00 without learning something new, then it’s like my mind melts down in to schizophrenia. I just get alone to myself, and ride it out normally thinking about what mine and everyone else’s beliefs and consciousnesses truly are to solve this mind binding problem or other things about the universe which is basically anything. When I figure something out, the drag stops, and I’m revived. It’s a very morbid depression in those moments that could last up to a week many years ago very frequently, and then a day or two a few years ago very frequently, but now only a day or 1/2 a day every other month perhaps. I assume it continues to get better.
In the throes the voices in words, feelings, visions inside my mind, and all tactile issues are clanging and clamoring. It’s nothing nice to go through, but I’m very used to it. It is the kind of thing that will make you mad and/or cry because of what you life has become. It never seems like it is ever just going to end. It always appears endless for infinity, and then as though I had mined the code for bitcoin, I figure out something new, and relief at last. Often times if I just teach people something online, then that can work to do it too.
It is like being forced to carry a giant kettle of boiling water in red hot metal somewhere on the astral plane so to speak to where I can see a new concept to me that I did not know before, and the voices and turmoil won’t stop unless I bear it, find that new spot, and then turn it into cool water when I get there with it.
That is an analogy for what I’ve been doing for many years. I think it makes me smart. When I finally stopped working outside, and I sat down to just study and share online I became better and better over the years as in my mind state became better. My schizophrenia is nothing like it used to be. The best word to describe it is that it is very quiet unlike ever before. It’s not all gone though. I wish it was.
I do know this. I would never have thought the things I’ve figured out, learned the things I’ve studied, or taught things I’ve taught people online if I were never schizophrenic. My reading comprehension since I started this online learning expedition has become better than before I was schizophrenic. It was hard reading while being schizophrenic, but now my concentration is much better. Also figuring out bigger problems is much easier than ever which would not be the case if I were not scz that made it routinely necessary.
Does anything similar to my story happen to you or work for you? Leave a comment.
