I’ll probably inherit my Moms dementia.
Having dementia is horrifying.
I would rather die before I’m afflicted.
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I have a few family members with dementia. My auntie has it very badly. My grandma also had it quite badly.
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Many times I thought that I would not make it through another winter.
Long ago, I did not think that I would make it to 57 years old.
I am now 62 years old.
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Yes, I’ve checked out a few near death experiences on line and on the bookshelf. The great majority of them are very peaceful and euphoric. I think about 90% of them are like this. Then, a few of them are really horrible. Some are a mixture of both. First they have a horrible experience, and then it turns into something beautiful beyond words. Lately I’ve been thinking that it might not be so bad to not exist.
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Not existing would suck IMO. Those NDE accounts are my number one sense of comfort with this illness. I like the thought of a possibility of something after, a place where I’m not sick and I get to be with my cat and my granddad again. That would be well worth waiting for, and I wouldn’t be scared to go in the end. I’ve seen stories where some NDE experiencers completely change their outlook on life afterwards. Like you said it’s about 80% positive experiences, which is a comforting statistic.
I think you should aspire to live as long as possible, Fatmama. You’re a great person and your family is gonna love having you around. My Grandfather was in his 70s when he passed, if he had lived ten more years it would have made us all so happy.
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I’m just very scared to be alive when my mom and dad pass away. My mom is 85 and my dad is 88. They are both very healthy and clear minded. Even so they realistically only have another 10 years. I really need them.
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I’m so happy to hear that you wanting to live longer. That really touches my heart. 
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