I felt suicidal and resisted it and now I feel better. Something inside me wants me to die. Are you like that?
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Sometimes… though I’m still alive and will carry on until I’m not. 
I don’t feel suicidal, but sometimes I’m kind of indifferent about life. Like it’s not bad or good just blah. Like I could go at any moment and not care or just keep trucking on either way. Right now I got some stuff I gotta do. Good for resisting. When I was suicidal in the past I’d always have a moment later where I was glad I didn’t do anything. Not that I got close. I find the best moments come after or before the worst.