you can try to get smarter and yet, you are at the mercy of it.
We talk about it, but the xperience is different, unique, and unrelenting.
We can be saying, Tell me if I smell, I don’t know, I’m hallucinating,
then laughing about it,
hearing voices and being completely within reality. F=ucking pissed off,
that you have to go through it,
like you’re not actually doing it, or watching it.
Aware and unaware and making your own decisions,
knowing you need help, but feeling you’re not helpless.