The delusion of having something to say

HI schizonatives, I play an online game where there can be as many as 16 people. Sometimes when I’m in game there’s convos going on. Sometimes there is silence. What is it that starts the convo spark? In the game sometimes everyone is complimenting one another for a skilled kill they done made, they will say nice shot, or n1. But sometimes the players don’t say anything. I try typing out light banter, to provoke them into communication. Works sometimes, sometimes it don’t. The spectrum of all possible things to say, its like I’m expecting people to say something when there is just nothing good to say at all. Then what gets me is certain times of day, people will get excited and there is plenty to say.

Do you listen to your inner voice? I’m not talking about SZ voices. I’m talking about the voice you use that is your personality the sane voice. You can control what he/she says. And it becomes manifested through speech. Some days my inner voice is not there. And I’m just using thought no language. When I use my inner voice its kind of like talking to yourself. In a positive manner. Like making remarks to yourself. Without opening the mouth. Its what you tell yourself. It’s like reasoning with yourself. The mind has much to say it is just conveyance to other people and how you will be received. As you can see my recovery thought process is still on a social run. I thank you for the read and possible discussion. Have a great day. Get the right dose of medicine, eat healthy, exercise. And don’t be anti social. Get out some. Thank you.

I vaguely remember that inner voice. It’s the one that tries to get me to use self-control and figure out what is happening around me. It’s the one that prompts me to make sticky popcorn when my kid sis comes home in tears. It’s the voice that tells me to hold a door open for kid in a wheel chair.

I like that voice. But sometimes it’s hidden and muted under all the other chatter in my head. I’m trying to give that small voice more space because that is the one that says it’s going to be Ok. That’s the one that says… Reach out and give that kid sis a hug.

It’s the voice that might not always translate to speech, but more often then not, it translates into action.